Today, my husband came running with his phone to “show me what our son did.” Was it a funny dance video? No. Was it a neat drawing? No. It was a turd. A foot long turd curled up in the toilet bowl. And it came out of our 5 year-old. He’s his daddy’s boy all right. Ew. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML
Today, my husband was changing our son’s overflowing diaper. Instead of getting up and walking the putrid mess to the bin, he decided to shoot it basketball-style. He missed and it hit the wall, sliding down leaving a huge sloppy streak. He expected me to clean it. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
Today, my son drew a picture of me eating. When I demanded to know why he had drawn me eating poop, he starting crying and said, “It was meant to be chocolate!” FML
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML
Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FluffythePink 23
Every guy can and will default to being a boy when given the correct circumstances. Even professionals. There's some Archeologists in York who's favourite artifact is the biggest Viking turd you've ever seen. The females are all Ew and the guys are all Wow. Some things you just have to sigh, roll your eyes at and do your best to move on.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (1)
FluffythePink 23
Every guy can and will default to being a boy when given the correct circumstances. Even professionals. There's some Archeologists in York who's favourite artifact is the biggest Viking turd you've ever seen. The females are all Ew and the guys are all Wow. Some things you just have to sigh, roll your eyes at and do your best to move on.