Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML
Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML
Today, I saw a stick in my car and picked it up to throw it out the window. The "stick" turned out to have eyes. It was a dead lizard. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML
Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML
On the runs
Today, I did the best at-home manicure I’ve ever had. I took my time and it looked like it was done professionally. As soon as I put on the top coat and waited for it to dry, my stomach rumbled and I had to run to take a dump. The polish smeared everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML
Top comments
cjwayy 22
Why would you paint your nails in your car? What if you had spilled?
DippinGrizzly907 27
Well that sure makes for a sticky situation. Doesn't it bug you whenever you mess up your nail polish?
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Comments (120)
cjwayy 22
Why would you paint your nails in your car? What if you had spilled?
Rinat_fml 26
Don't be so dramatic about it, #1. Let her do her things in her car. You go, girl!
ptoka 20
Yes, like those girls that love to show off their multi-tasking skills by driving, applying lipstick and mascara at the same time... All while driving in 2 lanes.
rocker_chick23 27
You forgot texting.
PegLegRacing 34
What if you spilled? That's your worst case scenario!? How about "What if you plowed through a group of school children because you weren't watching the road?"
thevelociraptor 31
OP never said she was driving. She could have just been in the passenger seat.
BlockOfRedStone 25
#55, OP never said she was driving
zarosian 17
Iron reaver soul stealer
trellz17 19
Be cool Inuyasha
Chibi_Kitten 24
Now all we need is poison emitting nails. Foolish bugs, how dare you weaklings touch this Sesshōmaru.
enu_vastanii__ 9
I think you should've seen this coming..
Plexia 9
Why would she paint her nails in a car? I suppose one reason could be that he was in the passenger seat of her friend Minerva's car on the way to their night job as ring display models for an upmarket jewelers. She's done it a couple of times before, but this time she really needed the money. her cat'#s spleen had exploded the week before, and vet bills has put her seriously in the red. nervously thinking about her desperate finance sityuation, she absentmindedly chewed on her ring finger, scraping off a chunk of 17 'date night' red specified by her manager. SHIT! Luckily she had the pot in her handbag for this very reason! She pulled it out and worked on covering the gap. What would she do if it spilled? Clean it, probably. I'm just guessing, though!
strike2867 13
She said "the car", not "my car".
riotofquiet 14
#95 tl;dr
Pinkemena 11
Like if you were too lazy to read #95 entire post.
RainbowSkullfuck 18
What ever happened to common sense?
DippinGrizzly907 27
Common sense isn't too common anymore. It's like having a superpower nowadays
Rallred32 20
Common sense must have been left out to dry.
shay_serendipity 29
Her common sense flew right out that window when she got the genius idea to stick her hand out to dry her nails. [OP] ------------- [common sense]
Earths_Venus 25
I saw an obituary for common sense a few months ago...
zBLAKEz 23
I think the line of common sense jokes are becoming stale...
cakefete2 31
Your comment stinks, but I guess that's one of FML's common scents.
DippinGrizzly907 27
Well that sure makes for a sticky situation. Doesn't it bug you whenever you mess up your nail polish?
shady_fox77 13
I hope you're not a nail biter
BoltTheSuperdog 22
Everyone needs a little extra protein in their diet!
worldclassrager 41
You better have been pressed for time to pull this one
Welshite 40
Hey beetle beads make great decorations. You've started a new fashion trend.
poppyseed420 9
Ha it's not new, don't any of you remember the evil queen from a troll in Central Park? She stuck the bugs right on
amisenho 11
Well, it's not too shocking. Have you heard of "Zoo Jeans," the pair of blue jeans they auctioned off for ridiculous amounts of money in Japan? Apparently, the jeans were tied to a scratching post in the lions' habitat in a local zoo, and they were intentionally scratched and torn to resemble faded torn jeans. They're also auctioning bear- and tiger-ripped jeans. The "nature" look is coloring people surprised these days.
zaphinarosee 8
3D nail art
dweeds508 24
Really isn't safe to be painting your nails in the car anyway
onealmxwilson 18
She didn't say she was driving.
Cortezthe1st 23
Dweeds never said OP was driving.
kingdomgirl94 29
If youre not driving, then painting your nails in the car is totally safe.
False_Stupidity 42
However, if she wasn't driving there would be no point in sticking her hand out the window to dry her nails, unless it was very windy, in which case YDI anyhow.
BSnapZ 21
#62 Clearly you fail to understand the fact that when the car moves at even an average speed the end force that is created would be enough to dry nails. Even if there is no wind. You should rename yourself to True_Stupidity.
kingdomgirl94 29
Maybe she just wanted her nails to dry before she got to her destination?
False_Stupidity 42
My point #64 was that unless there is natural wind, the car must be moving which implies that the OP was possibly driving.
Raewyn 8
I can't say I would ever care enough to paint my nails in the car, but the assumption that OP was driving puzzles me. I figured someone else was.
stargirl_95 24
#77 because it's not like she could have been sitting in the passenger or back seat while someone else was driving...
vividpictures 17
Just because the car might've been moving doesn't necessarily mean OP was driving. Like people have already stated, she was most likely in the passenger seat.
cantfixme36 28
She never said she was driving ... Being that she stuck her -hands- not -hand- out the window, it's likely safe to assume she was not steering the vehicle with her foot
biasedshooter 24
Did that bug you?
Anymouseinthe 3
Bet you were buzzing with excitement