Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML
Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML
Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML
Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML
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Top comments
kokomo777 17
I'm just baffled you picked your nose in a public place.
Shadowvoid 33
While the other girls may not be gel-ous, at least they didn't nail you with insults.
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Comments (18)
Shadowvoid 33
While the other girls may not be gel-ous, at least they didn't nail you with insults.
kokomo777 17
I'm just baffled you picked your nose in a public place.
never_three 21
I scratch inside my nose in public, is that the same thing?
kokomo777 17
I don't think so. I think giving it a quick scratch and digging for gold are two separate things lol.
axor01 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
SERIOUSLY SUB PAR AND FAKE, WHO DOES THAT?
LyricaSilvan 30
Dude. Chill. You're acting like it's unrealistic for someone to forget they have nail polish on.
LT_Silva101 18
What'd he say? It says the comment got nuked
Tripartita 45
You missed the perfect opportunity to shave your head, don a hospital gown, and cosplay as 11 from Stranger Things.
species4872 20
I'd like to know how did you get 2 beauticians to fit up there.
Catdragon 40
you'd be surprised at what can fit up there.
AwkwardBookworm 27
Ngl, I kinda feel worse for the beauticians scraping nail polish out of your nostril
EbyKat 16
That is not a moment I forget what I am doing with my hands. Maybe you need a nap.
jcash52426 5
You know they have these soft disposable towels they are called tissues use them to blow your nose. Unless there an asshole I don't anyone will mind if you stop getting your nail painted long enough for you to blow your nose.
CaptainShalliwaffle 4
Op here: to be honest, I wasn't picking my nose but actually rearranging my new septum stud, which was aggravating my nose. Was also super jet lagged and not thinking clearly after making the trip for the wedding. Thought I was being super discrete, but ended up being anything but. Totally my own fault, though, and my nose is super red in all the pictures.
ojosRojos 28
Why wouldn’t you say you were adjusting your piercing in the original post? That’s way more understandable
Dana Dinosir 3
Nah. Happens to us all. It's funny as hell, you may need better friends tho.