Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML
My body hates me
Today, I was looking at myself in the mirror and tried to touch my face. Unfortunately I have Tourette's, so my hand just uncontrollably slammed into my cheek, consequently jamming one of my fingernails into it. It started bleeding like crazy. My fingernails aren't exactly long, either… that's how hard it hit. FML
Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML
Blow it
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Too stupid
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML
Go get an Xray, dude
Today, I was on autopilot, walking out of the bathroom, and separated my pinky toe from the rest of my toes over the door frame. I dropped to the ground in pain, and my toe and half my foot still hurts hours later. FML
Great first impression
Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview, then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, only to see that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML
Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
Top comments
jtthegr8 26
You're driving....why are you picking your nose?
astoryofroses 9
Note to self: don't pick your nose while driving. but that really does suck OP, hope you feel better!
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Comments (210)
astoryofroses 9
Note to self: don't pick your nose while driving. but that really does suck OP, hope you feel better!
Mama_Umbridge 8
Or ever, for that matter.
qbert12 3
Lol
GodPart2 20
Sorry OP but how can you not notice a speed bump?? I'm sure they're painted bright in Florida (nail pun intended) :-)
golferman72 16
Bro picking your nose is the best part of life.
Futacy 30
Okay now what are you gonna tell people about the scar on you nose, you had a nose-picking accident?
thatKidzmOm 10
Fairly certain the scar is on the inside considering she was picking her nose.
fenixtorador1 11
Fake nails are overrated anyway..
Skittlepickle 13
Don't pick and drive. Stay safe America.
soccergurrll 8
That's snot good! Ok yeah. I'll just go die now. -_-
livamour 17
Jerry Seinfeld.
YoungMisfit 9
In the words of Ralph Wiggum. "the doctor said I wouldn't have as many nose bleeds if I kept my finger out of there"
jtthegr8 26
You're driving....why are you picking your nose?
reallytho3 11
Multitasking- you're doing it wrong
22cute 17
O please, everyone wants to pick while driving. But Op, you must resist! Distracted driving kills - especially if you're distracted by a bleeding brain!
riax 9
There really is no need to resist, as long as you knw how to drive. or op was picking a little too vigorously.. Btw that is filthy. Bacteria from the nose that got under the nail are there to stay
ilovesuju 10
LLMMMFFFAAOOOO, #5 I did that when I was little
ilovesuju 10
Whoops posted on wrong comment, here come the dislikes
ReesieBanana21 12
Do not fear!! Picking your nose is norma.. Wait. No it is not.. Sorry OP
Juicelynlovesyou 0
Haha oh what a bright idea!
NeDaroft 5
I find this really disgusting, girls getting their nails to look pretty, when really they're just using them to pick their nose and scratch their butts better...with a pretty good front.
lorenzoman77 7
Hey I have a serious question for you ladies out there: why do women get hair extensions? o.O
alycion 39
When I did extensions it was to add color. My hair is dark and can be expensive and time consuming to highlight. Hair extensions can be a less expensive alternative if you can do them at home. Not to mention if you go with an odd color like I did, easy to remove if needed for interviews or other things.
lorenzoman77 7
Ah, I understand now. Thank you!!
mvems 13
^ to extend the length of their hair.
elephantom12 9
Got a question for Lorenzo. Why must you put a topless picture of yourself up as your profile picture? Never understood why you skinny MySpace phaggots have the urge to do that.
ericbrough 0
Ouch
missamazinggg 12
114- or to thicken it out.
hornetsbaseball 6
Can you drive legally?
kamikrazy 6
What does that have to do with anything?
onlychildFTW 34
They are inferring that OP must be young because they she is picking her nose. Everyone picks their nose from time to time, just don't eat it like one of my friends *gag*. OP, don't pick your nose while driving!
evilplatypus 39
67 - I read a study that found around 40% of the population picks their noses and then eats what they find up there. The people who ate their boogers got sick less frequently and with less severity than those who didn't. The vast majority of your mucus winds up at the back of your mouth and in your throat, anyway, do why does it matter if it gets their intentionally or naturally?
Nevereverland 8
I choose to believe women don't pick their nose,fart nor poop. I could be wrong though.
coffeeandcream 8
89- ....WTF!?! did you look that up or something?
isaiaah 6
89 - Actually, that's not entirely true. Us humans are built for our environment. Just like camels. Camels have 2 (maybe 3 can't remember) layers of eyelashes. This is so all the dirt and other crap from the desert doesn't get in their eyes. People have hairs in their nose for a reason. The hair in your nose stop things like dirt and any other harmful substances that try to fly their way up there, and when we pick our nose (and eat whatever you get) you are quite possibly eating a harmful substance which may harm you. And yes you get mucus to, which is just disgusting.
evilplatypus 39
134 - No, I like to read. I see something interesting, I read it. 136 - I think the medical school that did the research knows quite a bit more than you. Yes, the hairs prevents some of the dirt and yuck from being ingested, but the vast majority of it still winds up in your throat. That slimy feeling you probably have at the back of your mouth at any given time? That's snot running down your throat from your nose.
Nutty4Muffs 3
I'm sorry 142, but that doesn't mean that eating your boogers boosts your immune system. Your general mucus is fine, considering your throat, eyes, and back of the nose is always soaked in the stuff; but the boogers in your nose are condensed shit from the air around you with some of your mucus in it, since it's there to collect the shit there off your hairs in the first place. If you eat your boogers, you're eating the dirt, skin cells (and other cells like bacteria. fungal spores, etc.) and fibers floating around in the air. Do you really think that's healthy?
onlychildFTW 34
171- genius man. Best explanation so far.
isaiaah 6
143 - well you must be very unintelligent if you believe anything you read. If your own common sense doesnt even tell you that eating your own snot is healthy, you must not be very smart in the first place. And last time I asked my doctor they were on my side. 171 - yes that is very true
tony1891 22
are you gonna start a booger wall? please don't. That's nasty
onlychildFTW 34
Booger wall? Is this what I think it is?
sappy0 5
Eww... Just eww
Rowdey 10
Same as your pic..
MichellinMan 20
everybody picks their nose. theirs no denying it.
vaughant 5
Who cares if she thinks that's gross! Cause it is! Just because everyone does it that doesn't mean it's less gross
blissmarie 6
68, *There's***
Zelda210 0
#92-BANG!!! Duck face bitch. Nobody finds that attractive! Get a ****** life...
pinkalicious224 7
Agreed. It's still disgusting no matter how many people do it.
fabulosogurlee 7
That'll teach you not to go digging for gold in public!
LilBobby 0
Are your nails okay?
Rowdey 10
Is it just me, or are those things creepy to anyone else?
jtthegr8 26
I like to think they are, 17
fabulosogurlee 7
Yeah it makes me feel like they are going to poke someones eye out... Or in this case someones nose.
ImaginaryFoe 1
No, they're not okay. They're plastic and tacky. (I'll enjoy the inevitable thumb downs on this one.)
lizzlegirl 9
plastic and tacky? those bitches are like 40 dollars
citymayer 7
If I would get a manicure I'd stick with my natural nails thank you very much. But I do my own bc I'm not spending $40 on plastic and glue. I'm gonna spend the $40 on 20 different nail polishes.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Tacky doesn't mean not cheap. You can get a black velvet painting of Elvis dying on a toilet for $100; doesn't make it any less tacky.
vickycat 5
One thing you can be sure of girls; if your BF likes your fake nails its cos it reminds him of a pornstar. lol
DaBugg 7
That Sucks!...FYL!...lol
ThatEmoVeganChic 0
I'm sorry OP!
Gtroll 4
You should be sorry! Making her pick her nose while driving! What are you thinking?!