Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML
Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML
Today, I went to the toilet to do a number 2. As I went to wipe, the toilet paper slipped out of my hand and I before my brain could register, I wiped my ass with my bare hand.. I also had curry the night before, so yeah. FML
Today, I was putting red nail polish on my nails and put a newspaper on the table to make sure that it didn't spill. I later discovered the nail polish made the newspaper stick to the table. I scrubbed nail polish remover on it, thinking it would help but instead bleached the table. FML
Today, I learned that nail polish remover is, in fact, VERY flammable. And I learnt it the hard way. FML
Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML
Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML
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Top comments
jstorie95 8
Sounds like a pain in the ass
elJefe98 8
Nailed it!
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Comments (63)
daytoday21 10
Ahhhhh!! Oh no!
TheCanucklehead 22
Or peanut butter in my toothpaste
ptoka 20
I had a friend prank me with alcohol wipes instead of Charmin wipes. It burns like hell.
His_Holiness 18
I don't think anything quite burns like icy hot on the balls. Never again.
ifailsobadly 18
Well at least you've got no nail varnish down there then...
zahra_786 19
Haha your name matches your comment so nicely :p
jstorie95 8
Sounds like a pain in the ass
Ari1337 15
*******
Welshite 40
Either way I'm sure it hurts.
cutiedimples 13
Literally.
Arrow44 10
#30- Oh, I though we were talking about her feelings??!!
snowby2 15
ohh you're so punny :P
Jezzikah 11
Most likely ass. I don't know anyone who takes such a long time to pee that they could have time to remove nail polish. A poo on the other hand...
MikaykayUnicorn 36
Newflash: she had to wipe both. normally you pee before pooping.
elJefe98 8
Nailed it!
Welshite 40
Multitasking at its finest.
little_excel 5
My favorite quote "multitasking: the art of failing everything at once"
ravenevercross 19
It could be worse, could have been the other side.
JtPv 14
I want a reasonable scenario explaining how that could happen.
Not_Impressed13 9
@#16. News flash!! Women wipe.
JtPv 14
21- I meant...I meant how it could have been the other side. Actually, I can think of one way, but she was in a hurry so I would assume she didn't
Ins0mau 20
24 - Women wipe both sides!
kaiyybee 10
Ouch!
underthesea12 24
no multi tasking on the can!
SlapAndTickle 20
Does that include blumpkins??
MrSassypants 34
Then where would I actually play any games I downloaded on my iPod?
SWC_Penguin 17
#23 wins the "Avatar Goes With the Comment" award for this thread.
myeviltwin 20
Especially blumpkins. Ewwww I am a guy and would never let a girl blow me while taking a crap. My ex, even after 8 years of living together was NOT allowed in the bathroom while I was taking a dump EVER. I wasn't even too thrilled about her being in there while I peed but hey compromise.
outoftown 27
8 - Shhhh! What would happen to FML if users stopped viewing it on the can? (Besides fewer shitty comments?)
AfroNinja6810 11
Well that took care of all the nail polish down there, too.
heyheynow 12
Ouch! Feel better dear