Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a cute girl I didn't know. She fell asleep on my lap by accident and I just let her for the whole train ride. This is the closest I've ever been with a woman. FML
Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML
Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML
Today, I was sitting in a train when the old lady sitting next to me started staring at me. I asked her if she was OK, and she exclaimed, "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?" The entire train trip went like this. FML
Today, a little girl standing next to me on the train suddenly hugged me. I thought maybe she was sad or I reminded her of someone, and hugged her back. Then she smiled, squeezed my love handles, and said, "Honk, honk!" FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, I was sitting a full bus when a man seated himself next to me. After a few moments, he looked at me and said, "I can smell your vagina, you must be ovulating." I don't know if he was hitting on me or what but I couldn't race out of there fast enough. FML
Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML
Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
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Top comments
allie2590 31
Don't you just love public transport?
Pandaburr1 15
I think you're OVARY-acting
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Comments (51)
brainymes 30
I guess you have a personable appearance? That's a plus!
allie2590 31
Don't you just love public transport?
ODST_Panda 12
that's awkward as hell
ghostsoul21 12
Learning something new every single day!
UNLUCKYyY1037 26
Poor dog!!! At least you got away from her!
lord_meloetta 20
What?
Pandaburr1 15
I think you're OVARY-acting
Rallred32 20
I'm not sure how to feel about this pun.
FlyingPie 17
#13: I'm not sure how to feel about your reply to this pun.
Rallred32 20
@14 I don't know how to feel about you not knowing how to feel about how I feel about this pun. And to 15; that was uncalled for.
MisterEx 28
#13, #14, #15 - are you guys sure y'all are not going through menopause too?
tehdarkness 21
Ok, this pun was actually good. Kudos!
Alexismaria 15
"The menopause" lmao
thevelociraptor 31
I don't know why you are pointing out menopause... It's spelled correctly.
BSnapZ 21
#7 The spelling wasn't the point. The point was the use of the word "the" which made absolutely no sense.
Alexismaria 15
You completely missed the point. When you go through menopause, you don't call it "the menopause" just like when you're on your period, you don't call it "the period".
ComoEsJuan 24
Urine for a long ride.
PotatoPal 11
...what does menopause have to do with urine?
crazytwinsmom 25
You have to pee frequently.
kailarahne 19
Well, I at least found this funny..
njgohard 16
Were you able to get away from her?
cakefete2 31
Nope. She was over OP's shoulder when this FML was being posted.
Earths_Venus 25
She sounds like she's barking mad.