Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML
Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML
Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML
Today, I woke up to find I'd peed the bed. My girlfriend did the warm water trick to me, where she put my hand in water while sleeping, which can make you piss yourself apparently. As I went to get up, I noticed she'd also painted my toenails pink. FML
Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML
Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML
Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML
Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, I was home alone, so for fun I put red lipstick on. A few minutes later, my doorbell rang. I managed to get it off before I got the door. I saw my neighbor, and had a long conversation with him. After which, I came inside and realized I had lipstick all over my teeth. FML
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Top comments
mcbeth 0
psh, you didn't forget, you know you wanted to look pretty for your swim team
Fields4mint 0
Methinks you are whipped.
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Comments (170)
Fields4mint 0
Methinks you are whipped.
nickernutz 0
agreed. you definately deserve that one.
luvtheknot 6
Methinks you is right
kykyshay 0
nail polish remover, duh!
wingsfan19 2
definitely whipped
wingsfan19 2
definitely whipped
tatababe 1
That's actually really sweet that you did some thong like that for you girls friend
SneakyMuffin 0
This is NOT an FML. Pink rocks!!!
PhillyEagles 0
First world problems......
ILUVMSC 5
Aww that's really sweet!
Aniki_Sohma 20
Lol my friend drew a fire breathing t-Rex on my back one time before a meet. I feel you OP...
mcbeth 0
psh, you didn't forget, you know you wanted to look pretty for your swim team
domolovesyoshi 33
yeah, he wanted to wow them with his beautiful nails
Tehalon 0
Haha, you could always wash your feet with terpentine.
jarofarts 0
nail polish remover. it's easy to use and doesn't cost much. =/
Little_Devil_fml 0
wouldn't take long to get the nail polish off with remover :P
cwl727 33
What makes you think he has any at his place.
Journiexo 18
#164 It's very inexpensive, and at the nearest dollar store.
01100110 0
Your mom doesn't have nail polish remover or something to get that off?
southpointchrysl 0
I'm pretty sure he said girlfriend
cwl727 33
How do you know he doesn't live on his own?
yabrett 0
wow, at least if you're going to give in to that make her do it with a color other than "hot pink chanel" YDI
itsbrina 0
you see there's this thing called nail polish remover...it works WONDERS
greenrapsody 0
you can remove it. and besides, what's the big deal? if they say anything, you can explain. I hate how so many guys feel the constant need to never be seen as feminine
Spongii101 12
I know right? Just tell everyone your girlfriend did it for a laugh. Seriously, not an FML.
Lennes 12
I whoheartedly agree #8.
Bigdawg42 8
yeah lol, and besides if he tells them his girlfriend did it, he'll just be cooler
mattmag 0
It makes you go faster!!
Tehalon 0
#8, because that would mean you're less of a man, duhh!