Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML
Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML
Today, I saw a stick in my car and picked it up to throw it out the window. The "stick" turned out to have eyes. It was a dead lizard. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML
Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML
Today, I did the best at-home manicure I’ve ever had. I took my time and it looked like it was done professionally. As soon as I put on the top coat and waited for it to dry, my stomach rumbled and I had to run to take a dump. The polish smeared everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cjwayy 22
Why would you paint your nails in your car? What if you had spilled?
DippinGrizzly907 27
Well that sure makes for a sticky situation. Doesn't it bug you whenever you mess up your nail polish?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
FrankHotpants 31
Hope you weren't driving though
TanzWolf 26
Standards these days for women. Smh.
RandomBird 20
But most guys find painted nails unattractive. Or at least, my group of friends and I do.
Ibuki 15
#19 - They don't care. That doesn't matter.
foxwasalamb 24
i think men generally don't care about painted nails. its the fake/acrylic ones that they have strong feelings about
TanzWolf 26
Fyi guys, this is entirely a joke on case you don't have a sense of humor
rocker_chick23 27
Everyone can see it's a joke. It's an overused one so no one is amused.
AxNxNxIxEx12 7
I'm pretty sure girls paint their nails for themselves
Chibi_Kitten 24
Probably so that we can show off to other females. Not like I think males actually go out of their way to intently stare at a girl's hand.
stargirl_95 24
I love how whenever someone makes a bad joke/poor attempt at sarcasm they assume that everyone else must have no sense of humour instead of thinking that maybe, just maybe, their joke genuinely sucked.
detectivedipsiht 12
maybe they just really liked your choice of colour
ohhhsnapple 14
OP, first of all, I'm not sure how you could be surprised with that result. And second, I hardly think your life is ruined because you decided to do something that messed up your nail polish. First world problems, much?
rocker_chick23 27
Seriously, you painted your nails in the car? You couldn't wait to do it when you got home? You're lucky it didn't spill.
ckerane 16
ive done that before and its never happened to me
ShalalaLynn 8
It says its in Texas. So I believe her lol when its summer in Texas bugs are everywhere -.- driving with windows down can result in bugs all in your car. Yuck. Or maybe youre just lucky!
tournamentdecide 33
Especially mosquitos.
Respect101 17
Mosquitos are terrible right now in South Texas, not sure about up North. You wouldn't even want to roll down your window, because your truck would be full of mosquitos in about 2 seconds.
Comet_Candy 23
It's all the rage in Paris!
Headcrab 29
I hope you weren't driving? That would be dangerous.
MandieL 27
First world problems.
Vanessa_Leeann26 17
Sport it! It's only a matter of time before that's the latest nail craze. Lol ;)