Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
mejiiaa 0
Lezbehonest you raised her well
alexicanaaa 7
Going down on a girl, I'm assuming.
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Comments (472)
steven1995 5
So the vag drivers now wow
kookysoc 11
Lmaoooooo i love your picture
erich2014 0
The hell????
wes04ram1500 6
to all of the people who don't know what "muffstangs diving" is, please delve your account and enter puberty before rejoining.
Keliosan 6
Sorry, some people have better things to do than get in on every disgusting stupid conversation when they're growing up. Not everyone had the luxury if being a douche(like you) or being douche adjacent(like me).
Keliosan 6
Did she get it with her best friend...? If so I don't think they're just friends anymore...
KatieKayy15 0
they can still be just friends...I know people who are bestfriends and have guy fiancés and they've done similar things with each other . just saying !!
Zachdaddy58 0
Haha
KatieKupcake4195 9
I'll bet you're so proud. They grow up so fast :')
gigafart 1
: )
harp 9
"no dives too tough when you dive for muff"
Kg317 18
Well at least she won't get pregnant
ryansfyl 0
urban dictionary here I come