Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mejiiaa 0
Lezbehonest you raised her well
alexicanaaa 7
Going down on a girl, I'm assuming.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (472)
13864466 2
Omg you people writing about the drink. She's 14 and it sounds like you would prefer her to be out drinking than experimenting sexually. So what if she is experimenting sexually she can't get pregnant. And the sexual term of muff diving has been around for at least 20 yrs. as a recipient of the muff dive it is highly enjoyable!!!
gladiactor2011 3
I think it has something to do with have sex with a car or maybe in a car
Devor 5
Muff is ******, get it?
atizzleee 0
no one knows what that is.
bslife80 1
At least you won't have to worry about her getting pregnant that way
LostTragedy 7
Most girls experiment. It's normal. Just be glad that she's not out drinking and can not get pregnant for it.
thebottomdog 0
Theres nothing rong with this ...
loser_lover95 9
Ewww.
holymackeral 12
At least she wont get pregnant!
JAB9989 13
Ouch man And you don't know what muff diving is???