Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Proud dad
Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML
Lingo
Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML
Top comments
mejiiaa 0
Lezbehonest you raised her well
alexicanaaa 7
Going down on a girl, I'm assuming.
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Comments (472)
ozone123 0
Chill
cjrand 7
It still sucks, but look at the bright side: atleast she can't get pregnant from that.
cd4evr 0
ya wat is that?...
CharliesCool2084 8
Well in England muff is another word for ******...
sarai_rebecca 2
I think its ****** up thatd u put that on here thats a family issue dont make it public if shes a lesbain u should except her and love her yeah shes 14 but insted of puttin it on here u should talk to her about it and make sure she even knows what that is
aLeXaNdRaAMW 2
I don't see how this can't be your fault. You are the parent right?
wallandpiece 16
Sorry, where did I express my fantasies of watching 14 year olds have sex? Or was that part just in your head? Just because I implied that something shouldn't be frowned upon by society, doesn't mean I have a fetish for the subject in question. This is exactly how Nazi Germany started. I could just as easily jump to conclusions about you.
SpRiTzSpLaSh 7
The amount of teen pregnancies that happen around the world
FaithDawson 8
Best friends turned lesbo couple?? Haha
bubbles503 0
That means eating out a hairy ****** lol.