Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
mejiiaa 0
Lezbehonest you raised her well
alexicanaaa 7
Going down on a girl, I'm assuming.
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Comments (472)
DiscoDave 5
Funny how a mom knew what muff diving was but I didn't
swedeNix 13
Ok thats just creepy. Boys first girls after in the the "dive academy"
mongoose313 2
Their is no "to young" in muff diving at the university of PEDO-BEAR.
mav72 2
So does that mean she gave or received?!
dpgft10 0
Hey don't worry she could've said drunk driving
xtalondriver 14
Hopefully she just doesn't understand. My daughter came home for Spanish class repeating what one of her classmates was saying: " Tengo un gato en mis pantalones." We had to explain what she was saying.
joseef17 0
It's oral sex on a women
quietninja 8
Sounds like you have a budding lesbian there.
pinkie6n105 1
Muff diving is pleasing a female
LifeHasMoments 8
I find this hilarious, but you can at least know what your daughters been up to. In which you can keep a closer eye on her?