Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. He pointed to two crossed swords above the fireplace and informed me the right one is his, and that if I ever hurt his daughter, he’ll give me a fighting chance by letting me use the left one. This guy thinks he lives in the Middle Ages or something. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
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Top comments
bjhhjh 20
And thats the reason there is 911 and life crisis hotlines
xThatOneWeirdGuy 18
Unless he was joking, run. Now.
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Comments (156)
ineedhelp89 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
**** that bitch it ain't worth it
martin8337 36
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
None of them are.
Caltech 12
did you understand this post? its not about the girl!
coldstar 15
Hope he was joking, but in a way I find it somewhat admirable that he's so determined to make sure that anyone interested in his daughter will treat her well.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Well, he didn't say just to treat his daughter well. That would be more understandable than telling OP to submit to his daughter's every possible wish.
coldstar 15
#32 Of course. I wasn't trying to imply otherwise. He didn't exactly word it pleasantly, but I can somewhat understand why he might have felt an urge to look out for his child. If I was a parent, I think I would probably do the same.
King_George_III 4
If he does kill you, he'll end up in prison anyway. I hate dads like that, who think they're tough shit.
hayjay2000 8
Obviously what this dad did was way beyond the ok line, but most dads just want it to clear that he doesn't want him to break her heart. Imagine it as if you were a dad and your daughter was going out with some boy...
King_George_III 4
I wouldn't interfere unless they're in danger if something. If they're happy, that's all i care about
Raidriar 14
This guy has common sense. You're less than useless to your daughter getting violated in prison for dropping the soap because you decided to shoot her boyfriend.
Wizardo 34
Don't do a Bruno Mars for this girl, just get out fast as you can.
pompomkiwi 14
Hahaha yes exactly runnnn
wodenlord 11
That's so common. Relax. If he really loves his daughter he won't kill you.
TideRider 3
Unless OP breaks his girl's heart!
JMichael 26
That means if she says lets ****, you'd better ****.
dangousity 21
And there's the cue to let his daughter be single
gc327072 31
You'll be fine, just constantly wear a plate carrier.
Ray_of_midnight 23
Overly-attached father-in-law. :-(
SuperMew 22
I don't know why parents think this sort of behavior is funny. There is a time and place for telling someone to "take care of my baby" and then there is over the line. It is not funny to tell someone you will kill them if they don't become an emotional slave to your kid. I only say this because, my mom used to be like that. Every time a guy came over, she would sit him down, take a knife, and tell him she would cut off his balls if he ever did anything wrong to me. It was weird and lost me more friends and relationships than I could count. There were many guys I could have had long, fun relationships with but because my parents tried to choose for me... I was lonely, teased, and treated like shit.
Dawnstempest 17
@ 28 I'm right there with you. It's just abuse and cruelty. A good relationship is built on equality, and parents like this take that and want to throw it out the window. "Either treat my kid like GOD, or die." That isn't a relationship, that's slavery. If they raised their kid right, they can trust them to (a) find a good person to be with, and (b) know that they will come to them for help if something does go bad. I can't help but wonder if they had a Son if they'd take the girlfriend aside and say "submit to my son or die."
mullet3388 16
ydi
bfombl 0
I hope your relationship with your mother survived all that and you're reasoably happy now.