Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. He pointed to two crossed swords above the fireplace and informed me the right one is his, and that if I ever hurt his daughter, he’ll give me a fighting chance by letting me use the left one. This guy thinks he lives in the Middle Ages or something. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad, who it turns out is such an anime nerd he decided to overplay the "idiot overprotective dad" character all afternoon, including making the dramatic faces, playing theme music from his phone, and at one point threatening my genitals with an oversized foam battle axe. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad refused to give me permission to marry his daughter because I'm "covered in gang tattoos" and he doesn't want his daughter marrying a criminal. The only tattoos I have are the Game of Thrones direwolf and a quote from the Lord of the Rings movies. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Chazzster 32
I think the point is he doesn’t want you to hurt his daughter.
mike3775 39
Be glad it’s only the father. If a man harms my daughter, he does t have to worry about me, he has to worry about her twin brother plus 6 older brothers.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (8)
Chazzster 32
I think the point is he doesn’t want you to hurt his daughter.
mike3775 39
Be glad it’s only the father. If a man harms my daughter, he does t have to worry about me, he has to worry about her twin brother plus 6 older brothers.
Dirtysalamander1 13
what happens if your daughter hurts the guy?
RichardPencil 32
The left one is probably made of balsa wood. It's a relief he was referring to crossing swords literally. Go to Urban Dictionary if you want to learn the disturbing figurative sense.
geerod 16
Someday when you have kids you’ll understand
1known 34
His daughter is not his property. Of course no dad wants his children hurt, it doesn’t mean they don’t grow up and they leave you to live their own life.
Maddy Bee 12
her dad sounds awesome, honestly...
dasin 18
what you prefer a duel of guns? think the guy with a weapon he is willing to duel with woudnt be well trained? id prefer swords over guns XD
raven_of_azarath 35
Are her parents Marshall and Lily Ericson?