Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML
Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
yo ass got jacked
epicwinmaster 0
YDI for thinking that youre hot. you god damn twilight lover.
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Comments (98)
some_random_dude 0
first bury me!!!!
youreanidiot 0
ydi for thinking everyone's staring at your ass (stop flattering yourself and pretending to be annoyed about it)
niemann2006 0
bury you??? anyways, OP, how could he have passed you and then stared at your butt? wouldn't that mean he was ahead of you? and if he passed the other way, then how could you have known he stopped? fakity fake fake
uj_fml 4
I'm thinking what happened is that he walked ahead of her, stopped, waited for her to pass, then she thought he did that to stare at her butt. Honestly, can you guys go through one FML without shouting fake?
cornbutter 0
SORTA FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!
vicky93 0
agreed
dikinass 0
nigga faggots. CCCOOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!! posting your ****** ass life to fml is gay. and most of it is shit. so.. **** fml? uh ya. Now this is funny: What's up I'm Doug.. FFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_I4nDagG2IE
PumpkinTarte 0
YDI for keeping your wallet in your back pocket. Who does that?
breadonabun 0
YDI for feeding a cheery to your sickly buttbuddy!
BurpusMe 0
YDI for having a butt!!
Amortifiedperson 0
Yea like absolutly no one has a butt in these days >_>
Aniland 2
YDI for being vain.
hahaohwell 0
@ #48 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKtV9n_JoIU&NR=1 i think some of this ***** on fml is pretty funny though
MaximumRide 0
YDI. Sorry, but you could have at least ran for him
stfunubcake 0
wow original.
allmidnighteyes 11
yo ass got jacked
athiest_pope 0
5th
p00p0ster0us 0
How did you know he stopped if he passed you?
Bloodknight 22
You would be dumb enough to let some stranger get close to you, talk to, and then get your wallet stolen. Oh yeah, you majorly deserved that one!
vaxc 17
Yes, OP deserves it because she let someone talk to her. Completely!
swjeemtys 0
you definitely have bigger problems than him not thinking you have a nice butt...helloooo he stole your wallet!!
happypenguin7293 0
EXACTLY! is THAT the fml I don't get it so a ****** mugger didn't think u have a nice ass he STOLE UR MONEY! bitch...
crazysk8guy 0
at least he's not a perv
AAAAHHHH12 2
Personally, I'd rather have some random guy staring at my ass over some random guy stealing my wallet. Then again, that's just me...
Finnboghi 0
The sad thing, 29, is most girls wouldn't.
acd23 0
I agree with AAAAHHHH12. I'd much rather have a random creepy guy staring at my butt than a random creepy guy reaching into my butt pocket to steal my wallet. One- I'd feel slightly violated if a random creepy guy reached into my butt pocket and Two- a random creepy guy would have my wallet. I don't put my wallet in my pocket at all. It's too big to easily fit in any of my pockets, front or back, so if I need it I carry a purse (and with a purse you have a little bit more of a reaction time if someone tries to yank it from your shoulder)
keitorin 0
he walked past you? er.. wut o.o? howd you let that happen then o_O