Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, I met my new girlfriend's teenage son for the first time. His first words were, "So you're the guy who has been banging my mom." The rest of the evening he kept asking what we have done and if his mom was good at it. She thought it was awfully funny to hear me tell her son how she was in bed. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
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Top comments
thongs4lyfe 0
omfg!!!!! I've used glow in the dark condoms before!!!!! sooooo much fun to watch go in and out! and to play wit, it's like a lite saber!!!!!!
yoshi359 0
turn the lights off!!!
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Comments (177)
Oreogasm 5
she must have done it with your bf's dad multiple times with glow in the dark condoms and finds it fascinating and thought you would too. how thoughtful.
chikiitaaa 0
oh wow I wish my bfs mom was this cool
JBigDaddy 0
that isn't weird that's like my mom. my familys comfortable enough with eachother. I think it's a cultural thing cuz certain races (not selecting which ones) they aren't into family as other races Im in an interracial relationship and my girlfriend says my family is closer than anything she's ever seen. it's good because when you actually have a problem you don't have to feel awkward. I hope to raise my family the same way
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I think I agree, JBD, but I'd have to substitute "cultures" or "subcultures" for "races." A lot of races have vastly different cultures. Some are just much more conservative about sex (especially premarital), but that doesn't necessarily mean they're any less supportive when a family member has a problem.
lil_ham1644 29
No. Race is an incorrect term. I don't mean to sound rude, but that word really bugs me.
thoughtcrimeno1 0
op is the original poster
mkylem 0
Your life is a joke, Bickerdoodles. You still need the rubber to keep the semen out if the woman and glow-in-the-dark green is cool! Not some crappy, odd looking blueish-purple, which you get from black lights.
Cupcaken 0
She's got humor!
eaglesfan365 0
I don't think anyone thought that was funny snicks so get off fml and keep lookin out the window for the perfect little kid
tekcor 2
Christ I'm more annoyed at people picking on Snicker than Snicker herself. It's like you guys give her a hard time just because a trend has started. Now granted, this particular joke was lame, there isn't any reason to single her out of all these other lame comments.
ebbomega 0
Submissions like this one make me really wish there was a voting option for "ARE YOU KIDDING? THAT'S AWESOME!"
pinto502 0
haha same(:
thatssomeBS 9
If you have to announce that it was a joke. It was a fail as a joke. Anyway, why is this an FML? OP your life rocks... (proper usage of your)