Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML
Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my newsfeed, I noticed a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to properly shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I mistakenly took a screenshot and then proceeded to fumble my phone. It wasn't until 5 hours later when I recharged it that I realized I had unintentionally posted the screenshot of me on the toilet to Instagram. FML
Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML
Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
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Top comments
ReesesPuffs 0
*waits for somebody to say that's a shitty situation*
flockz 20
sorry but they probably don't have an app for cleaning shit stains off your phone.
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Comments (327)
ShyAnn29 15
Oh I'm sorry, did it ruin your phone?
CabooseWins 0
That wasn't funny.
borntoperform 14
I bet they have an app for that.
ShyAnn29 15
I wasn't trying to be funny
CabooseWins 0
Touché.
ShyAnn29 15
I was just curious
DeviousAngel 13
...I don't see how you can confuse toilet paper with a phone. Even if you aren't being fully attentive. o.o
ShyAnn29 15
You all are too serious sometimes, geez I just asked a damn question
m0tl3ycru3 0
That phone must be scarred for life
robincakes94 8
Am I the only one that's wishing that ShyAnn would just stfu... Don't take it personal, or do... Idgaf
rallets 23
i "call bullshit" get it? eh? ehh?
ShyAnn29 15
I don't care, why don't you stfu 54, I can be here too
ThreeSheetsGone 12
A couple of weeks from now, OP, someone will call you and you'll have forgotten all about it. Then you'll wonder what that mysterious smell is that only makes itself obvious when you put your phone to your ear.
mea_iloveskiing 26
I'm sorry, did I break your concentration??
EvilPotato 15
Stop when you're ahead ShyAnn.
Shy_Anne 10
Someone needs a wet wipe :)
unitedfan11 0
Please tell me how you managed to stick a phone up your ass without realizing it? Dumbass...
Jaxx66 21
I don't think wiping with a phone- unless he then was a dumbass and didnt realise it was a phone and dropped it in the toilette like the paper. - would ruin the phone.
shadowch 4
Likes how everyone assumes its a he.... A chick could have rasily pulled this off let alone a blonde one.
ashtonkay 7
Haha dang c'mon y'all let us all just be chill. Shyann should seriously calm down, they are only kidding.
DancinChikk 0
Yah, its really not likely.
ilovebigtimerush 0
127- that's very offensive to blondes!
ALpein 0
How's the service in there..?
marinus_fml 20
#108, Please don't tell me you stick toilet paper up your ass!
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
49- I see what u did there ;)
acccccccc 1
145- dont worry blonds have no souls... Or was that gingers? Op- man you have a crappy phone. Tehe
kurlyfries222 0
No it didn't ruin his phone...haven't you heard of the iWipe app?
Nicole075 6
Why y'all being so mean to dis person lik tbh I'm also curious if the cell got ruined n if y'all actually paid attention to the tone of comment you can easily distinguish the curiosity in it
ALpein 0
197- Sorry, I didn't realize comments had the ability to talk.
kocoman500 2
56- sure you can be here. You just can't do it without sounding like a dumbass.
Choose_Wisely 5
197 uhhh... what?
jessimica642 8
Haha dumb bitch
mannykiddo 3
No, there's an app for that.
ShyAnn29 15
Thanks 197. 205, I'm not the dumb ass here. And to everyone else I'm not mad, I just think it's funny at how serious you all are about a comment!
solid2dew 6
No shyAnn ur still a dumbass
bitchslapped22 14
This place is thumbs-down mania
deOrca 8
Look ShyAnn29. The one taking this too seriously is you. We don't hate you because of your initial post. People here thumbs down things that they don't find funny or interesting, whether or not it's a legitimate comment. That's just a fact of life, don't worry about it. We hate you because you KEEP on posting unfunny, uninteresting, waste-of-space-and-time posts. We don't come here to read that shit, okay?
ALpein 0
269- You're a boss. Hats off to you.
DWilliamson 7
Hey...HEY!! Wanna hear a joke? Ok ok, here it comes... Shit LOL!!!!!!!1!1!111!!!9/11!!!!!!! .....i don't get it...
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Keyboard warriors, nothing like ninjas.
clsgators 5
She hasn't been ahead...
ImFrackinBored 13
ShyAnn I think it's time to stop talking... Just leave it ^-^
NagatoPain 4
Amazing how kids get mad over FML because people ask the simplest questions and they go and thumb them down because they think we are apparently dumb to ask! Im gonna get thumbed down too! Just watch!
Choose_Wisely 5
241 - troll mission fail. just go
sexynarwhal 6
145, your name and comment are both equally irritating.
iJeremyTyler 0
No. Shit. Sherlock.
1two3four5six 23
ignore those dumbasses ShyAnn, im totally on ur side
emogiggles 0
Thank you me too they wouldn't know what a real smart person was even if one came up and smacked em in the face
ReesesPuffs 0
*waits for somebody to say that's a shitty situation*
GraveRobber14 13
You just did....
volley4eva1698 0
Let's all just shut up right now
eeppiicc 8
*waits for you to make a funnier comment*
everett0826 0
Somebody already has...
markrs 0
What a: SHITTY SITUATION!" :D Did you see what I did there? There. Two overly used comments in one...
GirlWithName1324 0
Shit happens
LouisianaBob 9
first comment I think should have just been "lol."
ColdplaySucks 18
Anyone know how to get rid of these ads? I can't seem to find the in app purchase section, and I don't want to play fucken "fashion story."
freerun4life97 0
He has a shitty phone.
ALpein 0
That'd be an awkward butt dial.
419 0
155- What about on the app, and not the site?
Omgplz 3
I was going to say she had some shitty reception...
P374RD3D 9
#109 why did you say that in a reply to the second comment
eviIpotato 0
What a *puts on glasses* Shitty situation Bury me thumbs downs :)!
Ranimal 12
So ******* annoying.
IronMaiden45 0
was it a metro piece of crappy shit phone?
LouisianaBob 9
192 Just because the situation is stupid and so many fmls have turned into "this is how I ruined my smartphone today"
RSX92 3
He was probably trying to make a booty call
soulartist 0
That is a shitty situation :P -saying it for the person who wanted some one to say it -
ImFrackinBored 13
Prepare for a shitstorm of bad puns... ...wait
jhldc 1
Ah crap! You stole my idea guys.
purplecowchik 5
You know there's an app for that.
purplecowchik 5
Lol
Happiness2Joy 3
I guess OP has a pretty shitty phone now -.- satisfied?
flockz 20
sorry but they probably don't have an app for cleaning shit stains off your phone.
liquidSELECT 0
You made my day ^^
everett0826 0
That made my day!
DancinChikk 0
Ahhh! Thats a good one! :)
Blackmail111 9
Just cause you have a toilet paper app doesn't mean the shit won't stick to your phone
DancinChikk 0
Really though!
romanianboi 0
the bears can smell the menstruation
Darklord53 0
There's an app for that
ALpein 0
There's a pony for that.
freakinglaugher 10
Wait... If it's a smartphone, does that mean he became a smartass?
everett0826 0
Well, at least your asscrack got cleaned up, just not in the way you expected.
Torva_fml 16
*facepalm*
everett0826 0
What?
iliketurdles 7
Ignorance is bliss.
everett0826 0
It sure is.
EvilCupcake8361 9
damn straight
False_Stupidity 42
I somehow doubt that a mostly plastic phone is any good at removing shit from anything.
qbkilla55 0
still using that damn phone?
13FMYLIFE 0
betting he still used that phone to write this FML
grmnxsensati0n 4
i would just keep ******** on it cuz its already a piece of shitt ;)
whisperingeye13 0
This is why I don't risk wiping! More risk then reward!
jmk1469 5
jeez. way to be attentive. YDI
BigHoshJosh 0
Way to be a tool.
summinay 0
Wtf
thisisafunnyname 12
probably not what your sister meant when she told you to shove your phone up your ass
ZebulonPike 8
Now THAT'S a sh... okay, you know what? Nevermind. I hate it when people say that.
DrDilllonReese 12
When OP talks on his phone, he will forever know that it previously touched his poopy asscrack.
ShyAnn29 15
I was just asking a question, I would have written something that's actually funny if I wanted too!
ShyAnn29 15
This was supposed to go to a reply to my comment, sorry this is in the wrong spot!
zombicidal 11
*to not too you double fail
P374RD3D 9
*dubble
nolarboot 10
175 - Please tell me you're trolling.
drewfus2 6
25-I can't think of an appropriate reply to that, so I'll just go with *facepalm*
LSUFANatic28 5
There's an app for that?
HomeAl0ne 20
A crap app no doubt.
tandem123 6
There's a crap for that.
CommanderBalls 10
Butt dialing is one thing @sshole dialing is another
DancinChikk 0
So true!