Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, I met my new girlfriend's teenage son for the first time. His first words were, "So you're the guy who has been banging my mom." The rest of the evening he kept asking what we have done and if his mom was good at it. She thought it was awfully funny to hear me tell her son how she was in bed. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
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Top comments
thongs4lyfe 0
omfg!!!!! I've used glow in the dark condoms before!!!!! sooooo much fun to watch go in and out! and to play wit, it's like a lite saber!!!!!!
yoshi359 0
turn the lights off!!!
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Comments (177)
buckmaster1984 0
People that post comments just bashing snickerdoodles grow up or stay off fml.
shadow2792 0
for some reason this is something I'd expect my mom to do...that or go out for the night to leave the two of us alone... anyway I think he has a cool mom.
TheAnon1313 28
my mom probably isn't glow-in-the-dark-condom-cool, but she is will-provide-condoms-and-bc-then-will-leave-the-house-cool
onnielief 4
ROFL, his mom is a keeper!
converseTMB 0
haha agreed
truthisRelative 0
Dios mío! Back off guys, you know who you are. You remind me of school-yard bullies trying to pick a fight with someone. I bet what's really going on is that you're secretly in love with snickerdoodles and you don't have the ability to properly express your feelings. Again, school-yard creeps come to mind. I find you lot more annoying than snickerdoodles herself. That said, she has a valid point most of the time. Ad homs and other character attacks aren't terribly entertaining, so let's tone it down a bit, eh? Mmmk. Thanks!
jessicams 0
how the hell is this bad? you should be stoked he has such an understanding mom
black_commet08 0
she is awefully understanding.
Spongii101 12
... creepy.
kyarush 10
that's badass
Laurendorcus 0
They sell glow in the dark condoms at Touch of Romance stores. They used to sell them at Spencers back when I worked there, but I dont think they do anymore. Guys like them because it makes them feel like they have Light Sabers between their legs, I know this because whenever someone bought them they always brought it up. lol
shotstack 0
Of course, this could be his mother's way of judging OP's intentions towards her son, depending on how she reacted. If she looked a little uncomfortable but accepted the condoms nonetheless, then the mother knows she has to watch for them doing it. That being said, OP, watch out for your boyfriend's mother "accidently" walking in on you and your boyfriend. The smell of incest is in the air around this FML.