Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my daughter's first serious boyfriend, only she forgot to mention he has hypermobility. All I did was shaking his hand normally, but it still dislocated three of his knuckles. My daughter made me call his mother to explain what I did. FML
Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML
Today, I told my family how my wrist has been hurting for almost a week. My aunt’s chiropractor boyfriend then decided he could help by suddenly pulling my hand as hard as he could. Not only did my wrist pop and cause me more pain, but my shoulder got dislocated. FML
Today, my boyfriend accidentally broke my nose the day he was meeting my parents for the first time. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. When I went to shake her dad's hand, I broke his watch. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML
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Top comments
prttyyngthng 0
That's one HELL of a first impression.
mogan_fml 0
the shoulders are supposed to stay IN the sockets? oh, oh dear.
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Comments (163)
justdance45 0
LOL @ #24 you really are too rough. i don't think his parents like you now!
Trix_Disorder 20
This is horrible, but I laughed. Why is physical pain so damned hilarious? XD
Hullaballoo 0
That's why you either don't toss a child around, or you grab her by the torso under the armpits
tash14 1
This actually happens a lot, I know it's embarrassing, but try not to dwell on it too much. And for future reference, grabbing under their armpits around the torso (as 43 said) is much safer.... not only will their shoulders not dislocate, but you don't have to worry about your grip slipping and sending the kid flying, you have better control.
audiogasmic 0
Oooooooh ouch, that's embarassing. At least dislocations are easy to fix. Better than breaking her wrists!
fmlhmb 0
It's okay. My dad accidentally popped my arm out when I was little doing the same exact thing. She'll get over it and it'll be a great anecdote.
your_mother 0
congrats on that one, his parents must love you now
basketballbabee 0
That happened to me before...my dad was spinning me around. It's really common though...so just try to make a better impression the second time? haha. sorry but this is really funny!
SPQR_fml 0
Yikes, well on the plus side you know you've got strength.
TigerPride 0
you will make a great mom