Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at age 27, I went to pick up the girl I like for my first ever date. Her brother answered the door with a baseball bat, said the date was off and threatened to smash my kneecaps to pieces if I ever came back. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML
Today, I went to the emergency room. Apparently, when your ex-girlfriend hits you in the nuts with a bat, it can do some damage. FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML
Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML
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Top comments
ClosetTroll 10
Could have been worse if he had decided to get creative with his iPhone.
llamafish 25
So it went well, I take it?
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Comments (111)
llamafish 25
So it went well, I take it?
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Probally the same kid who pulled down his brother's pants saying "Geronimo!".
shayshayshazam 14
1- Maybe her boyfriend's little brother's name is Chris Brown?
zakkyzebra 11
No, 1, OP took it. To the face. Sorry for ACTUALLY replying to you, 1.
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
He went with her to the emergency room which is a great sign about him. In that aspect, I would say it went well.
xavier21_fml 6
the brother probably liked you.. ya know ;) kinkay
imaginaryvoice 18
Home run!
fymother 13
What a story for the grandchildren!
Drigr 9
I agree, she may he been nailed in the face with a bat, but I would say the result was a best case scenario, the date stuck with her.
Skittlepickle 13
Not the homerun I was expecting, but FYL
Addyy_ 5
38 - I totally agree with you. I mean, whenever I like someone and want to get "kinkay" with them I just hit them in the face with a baseball bat. It works all the time, after they get out of the ER first that is.
Meettitan 14
68- you have it all wrong. When you want to get "kinkay" with someone, you send your younger siblings in to do the damage. Then reap the rewards.
ClosetTroll 10
Could have been worse if he had decided to get creative with his iPhone.
shayshayshazam 14
I feel like getting creative with a bat would have been worse. Although perhaps a better shape than the iPhone.
spicynachos0816 0
There's an app for that..
gracevet88 0
Lol u read that one too
skoob1 12
I hope you guys realize the expression "id tap that with a baseball bat" isn't literal...
jizzwold 21
28 I've never heard that expression. Is that analogous to "I'd hit that… with my car"
onlychildFTW 34
iPhone's weren't designed for that use. Their sharp edges. Ouch.
LadyLol_fml 15
Could've been worse, Could've been hit in the face with a nokia.
p3mguin 7
Don't worry OP, when I was 3 days home from the hospital(baby)my brother hit me in the head with a bat. My mom was so embarrassed to bring me back to the same hospital with blood on me. :D
MetalxSoldier 26
I wish I could grow a mustache like that. :(
reddudeover 2
3 - I love a lady with a wonderfully curriod mustache. 23. No offense, but that is dumb. What kind of reaction is that? An emergency is an emergency.
mhopper 13
If he hit her near her eye, it's definitely an emergency. He could have killed her if he hit her in the temple!
Meettitan 14
45- an emergency is an emergency -- that's why she was taken to the emergency room. Secondly, who doesn't feel embarrassed with an injured kid in the hospital...?
reddudeover 2
83 - Well just think about it this way, everyone else there is there either because 1. They they are REALLY sick and couldn't careless about how dumb your kid is. 2. Either they or their child is injured meaning they're just as humiliated/ retarded 3. They work there they see 100's if not thousands a people a week and won't remember you 30 seconds after you leave.
p3mguin 7
Shut the **** up, oh my gosh, my mom was embarrassed because I was a new born baby.3 DAY OLD ****** SPAWN.
Ohreo 2
#95 i can see why she was embarrassed to take you to the ER
reddudeover 2
Well all this explains a lot.
p3mguin 7
Yeah because her new born baby was bleeding. I don't see how nobody is getting this right now.
Meettitan 14
lol I got it. I'll take the downed thumbs with you.
Scarshadow101 6
If she WAS hit in the face with a Nokia, it would explode in her face and destroy half the continent. Personal experience. I own one.
Korean123 5
nice family
mgkgambino 3
Hahahahahaah...No.
Jonkbaby 23
hey 51 want to lick my toes?
citymayer 7
I generally feel that meeting the family on the first date is a bad idea. This is only one of the many reasons why I feel that way.
HairyPunisher 27
I agree that's way too much on a first date. And I'm not trying to stereotype dating but in most cases the guy picks up the girl which means that he probably either he brought his kid brother on the date with a bat, or he said "come by and meet my folks." Yeah. Too soon.
wlddog 14
That's quality bonding time right there.
XxHoPPoxX 8
It was love at first... Bat to the face
shayshayshazam 14
The little brother heard you were in the market for a nose job, perhaps?
thisisthriller 1
that's one way to do a rhinoplasty.
reddudeover 2
I believe the sentiment behind this comment was he would break the nose for op, then op would get a nose job. I could be wrong. You shouldn't hold your breath though.
skyeyez9 25
I don't think a doctor will do a rhinoplasty over a broken nose. Just reset the bone.
L_Lovegood 19
At least he had the common curtesy to go with you! He sounds like a decent guy. Who knows, if neither of you just give up after this, it might become a thing you can laugh about later!
kzxvazure 0
buthe wanted to play baseball
kzxvazure 0
but he*
reddudeover 2
The awkward moment where your grammatical correction is still very much ungrammatical.
kzxvazure 0
shut the duck up :P
mk58 31
Okay, 49, that was just too rude. Go sit in the time-out corner.
BlackBlazeCobra 16
Hey you never know, that could've been the move to break the ice between you two...or the nose? Okay bad joke. But on the bright side, he stayed with you while you were in pain. That's a definite keeper :)
megansays 2
Blackblazecobra, this is off subject but that's a gorgeous chestnut you've got in your picture.