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Today, I found myself completely naked, tied to a chair with a slice of ham on each breast. Note to self: never again let my boyfriend make one of his fantasies come true. FML

38

Collection

Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Top comments

Tripartita 45

Am I the only one who thinks this is actually a pretty tame fantasy compared to the weird shit some people are into? Other people. People who are not me. Ha. What?!

YaboyVinnie 21

That's the breast thing ever, you shouldn't make a pig deal out of it.

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Comments (38)

cloudish 23

You could say he had a hamtastic day!

YaboyVinnie 21

That's the breast thing ever, you shouldn't make a pig deal out of it.

RichardPencil 32

At least he's porking you.

pom3440 22

whats VDM??

Tripartita 45

It's an acronym for "vie de merde," which is French for "life of shit"/"shit life". Perhaps this World FML wad pulled from the original French FML, VDM. You can visit Viedemerde.fr right now; it's like a bizarre alternate universe with its own crazy cast of commenters.

sohigh10 34

vie de merde, FML is originally a French concept. Sometimes they translate the best from the French website and put them on the English website with this tag

Tripartita 45

Am I the only one who thinks this is actually a pretty tame fantasy compared to the weird shit some people are into? Other people. People who are not me. Ha. What?!

chirstinap325 23

Taking bed and breakfast to a new level. At least he can put "able to multitask" on his resume.

Jay18 22

he's always had bed and breakfast, if that's where he eats her

Jurbla 14

"I found myself tied completely naked to a chair when my boyfriend took out a bag of taco bell and told me he has a fetish for farting on a bound up woman"... That's an FML. "I found myself tied completely naked to a chair when my boyfriend pulled out an ax and said he REALLY has a thing for amputees." THAT'S an FML. Putting just two slices of cooked meat on your body is pretty much one of the tamest possible outcomes of consenting to your partner tying you down, have a little perspective.

bartsj88 6

Tame relative to the other things you mentioned? Sure, but it's still an FML in its own right.

TheyCallMeDamien 18

When being accommodating goes wrong.

chirstinap325 23

Well thank goodness he wasn't hungry for eggs sunny side up!