Today, I met my daughter's first serious boyfriend, only she forgot to mention he has hypermobility. All I did was shaking his hand normally, but it still dislocated three of his knuckles. My daughter made me call his mother to explain what I did. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. When I went to shake her dad's hand, I broke his watch. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML
Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML
Today, I have never been more disgusted at my daughter. She was on her phone and almost walked in front of a bus, until a man with some kind of facial disfigurement pulled her back. She called the poor man a "freak" and not to touch her, and he started crying. I'm ashamed to think she is mine. FML
Today, our daughter has actually been dating a decent guy, compared to the usual losers, and was going to meet his parents. My wife put her foot in it by repeating over and over again how important meeting the parents is. She psyched her out so bad, she cancelled meeting his parents and dumped him. FML
Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML
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Top comments
Leeono 26
Wow. Not wanting him to be sexually active with your daughter is one thing, but to ruin his masturbation is something else!
RichardPencil 32
Hypermobility? Pshaw! Even auto-correct says that’s not a thing. You pulled the old “dad crushes daughter’s boyfriend’s hand” handshake and executed it to perfection. Gotta let those little ***** know that if they mess with your little princess, there’ll be Hell to pay.
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Comments (20)
Leeono 26
Wow. Not wanting him to be sexually active with your daughter is one thing, but to ruin his masturbation is something else!
RichardPencil 32
Hypermobility? Pshaw! Even auto-correct says that’s not a thing. You pulled the old “dad crushes daughter’s boyfriend’s hand” handshake and executed it to perfection. Gotta let those little ***** know that if they mess with your little princess, there’ll be Hell to pay.
onceuponatime456 16
Read my comment about coincidence! It does exist.
Shawnie Gallant 24
It’s called Ehlors Danilo’s Syndrome and it’s rare.
Shawnie Gallant 24
Danlos * see? Even my autocorrect doesn’t recognize it. It’s rare.
Quasita 26
No, not all hypermobility is EDS. Hypermobility is simply the technical term for "double-jointed" and refers to higher than normal flexibility of the cartilage. However, a person doesn't have to have EDS in order to be hypermobile. Ballerinas, gymnasts, contortionists... me... not all have EDS but we sure can be bendy! Though the kid in the story probably does have EDS if his fingers dislocate that easily lol I can dislocate on command but my hips, shoulder and spine are the most likely, which is even funnier considering that I also have moderate arthritis. It is painful in my body.
WhatHappenedToIt 22
I have that. my chiro told me. said it explains why my neck is always out of place and why my hips are always off balance and why I have back pain.
Random_Dude55 3
Hello, I have a hypermbility disorder called ehlers danlos syndrome, which causes frequent dislocations. For example, I sublaxed my shoulder by stretching in class, and dislocated my knee last night by laying on my side. Maybe you should google “hypermobility” ,before assuming that because autocorrect separates the word it must not be real.
onceuponatime456 16
Gee what an amazing coincidence that there was a huge news article about Hypermobility just the other day and now someone uses it in an FML! Hahahahahahahahaha
wanted_2_want 40
OR your daughter’s BF is a weak wimpy boy that couldn’t execute a manly handshake. That’ll teach him. !! (Is that what a “metro-sexual” guy is? I’m not sure)
Shawnie Gallant 24
I can lean on my fiancé weird and pop his shoulder and or hip out. What about EDS is wimpy?
interesting33 37
if that is such a problem they should have let you know. this is not on you and he could have called his mother himself
kmarie22_613e 25
Depending on how badly his fingers were dislocated & which ones, he might not be able to hold the phone or dial it.
Shawnie Gallant 24
My partner has EDS as well. He had to learn how to put his joints back in by a doctor, and now does it all himself. I recommend suggesting to them to get a doctor to teach him how to do it.
Emiweb 9
I have EDS, which it sounds like this guy most likely has. You can be hypermobile, though, and not have issues like dislocations or a medical condition at all. Basically, not everyone with hypermobility has EDS, but everybody with EDS is hypermobile.