Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I’m the latest learner of the lesson that, however desperate one is for relief from both, it is wrong to take sleeping pills (for insomnia) and laxatives (for constipation) on the same night. I'd have been fine alone. The catch is a night of pooping as I slept taught my guy that I’m bad to sleep with. FML
Today, I learned the hard way why no matter how constipated you are, it is never a good idea to use a suppository when you are tired. FML
Today, I learned a valuable life lesson : Never attempt to swallow your pills with a swig of hot tea. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, I accidentally took an Ex Lax instead of an Immodium. It's gonna be a fun night. FML
Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML
Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML
Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML
Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML
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Top comments
lad088 0
why would you even try that in the first place?
erikjh1234 0
u got the squirts in your sleep!!! lmfao
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Comments (147)
stellajean 0
i agree with number 42; && i even have a book that says this.
hoopstar15 0
this is now one of my favorites hahaha
wan21_fml 0
lmarof hahahahhHahHHHHAaaaaaaaaah
salooty 0
LMFAO !!!!!!!!
lilkim_fml 0
i LOL'D SO hard when I found out what laxative was!! (english is not my language..) this is one of my favorites now! :)
lilkim_fml 0
lolXD
WTFWTFWTFWTFWTF 0
that would be sooooo shitty for your wife........,,
Doc_Holliday 0
Very original. This has only been circulating the internet for about 9 years. What's next, you gonna do Henny Youngman jokes and pass them off as your own?
TheOtherNewest1 6
I'd love to know what train of thought led up to taking these two pills at the same time. "I've been really constipated of late and I'd really like to take a shit. But I'm sooooo tired..hey, what's the WORST that could happen?" Idiot.
lilkim_fml 0
OMG!! I swear I laughed for full 5 min a this !!! HAHAHA!! would have loved to see the look on your face when you woke up!!