Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I’m the latest learner of the lesson that, however desperate one is for relief from both, it is wrong to take sleeping pills (for insomnia) and laxatives (for constipation) on the same night. I'd have been fine alone. The catch is a night of pooping as I slept taught my guy that I’m bad to sleep with. FML
Today, I learned the hard way why no matter how constipated you are, it is never a good idea to use a suppository when you are tired. FML
Today, I learned a valuable life lesson : Never attempt to swallow your pills with a swig of hot tea. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, I accidentally took an Ex Lax instead of an Immodium. It's gonna be a fun night. FML
Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML
Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML
Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML
Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML
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Top comments
lad088 0
why would you even try that in the first place?
erikjh1234 0
u got the squirts in your sleep!!! lmfao
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Comments (147)
sexysue 0
could of put a diaper on then your stupid idea of taking both pills would be ok. NOT! dumbass!! OP = original poster
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
nocanhaz: I answered this question for you in ridiculous detail awhile ago; guess you missed it. It's on the FML about an OP needing 4 stitches on her elbow after cutting herself with a straw. Go check it out.
ToArthur2009 0
Fake. Sure this was on LFMF a while ago =
peppermintazn 0
crap.
xxBAMFxx 0
LOL sounds like you had "shitty nights sleep" xD
UnSatisfiedQueen 3
You woke up a shitty mess huh? That was very very extremely stupid of you. (Shaking my head with it slightly pointed down in a disgusted manner)
Kshanski 0
Did you get this from a Jimmy Johns sign? I think you did.
stewpididiot 11
Haha....Now we know your sleep number is 2 this is going on my favs fo sho !!
nichybabie 1
wow
Autoimmunity 0
ydi for not wearing a diaper