sickpuppy
Geometry
Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Will
France
Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML
mynoseburns
United States
Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML
crap
Mansfield, United States
Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML
sadddddd
Canada
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Preggo
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML
Meagan Ortiz
Wardrobe change please
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
sickofsick
United States
Both ends
Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML
sicktomystomach
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Last splash
Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML
Top comments
ajh1800 25
Been there, done that. The best way to do it is to sit on the toilet with a trash can in front of you. That way, it's harder to miss and there's less of a mess. Hope you feel better soon.
Inkoseh 33
Actually, I think you learned the soft way..
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Comments (10)
Inkoseh 33
Actually, I think you learned the soft way..
ajh1800 25
Been there, done that. The best way to do it is to sit on the toilet with a trash can in front of you. That way, it's harder to miss and there's less of a mess. Hope you feel better soon.
TCRII 30
Yeaaah. I tried throwing up first in October, 1997. Now I just sit on the toilet with a bucket in my lap...
riley873 21
that sounds like a war story that starts out: 'back in 19 aught 6' *spits tobaccy
AmbrosiaFan 19
If you feel you have both, sit on toilet and bend over and aim for the trash can.
bobsanction 18
Grab a bucket, do both at once. Be efficient.
Meghan Mayhugh 5
That’s what I was going to say. When my husband and I both had the same stomach bug at the same time we each had a bucket for our face in the toilet for our ass.
rotflqtms_ 21
Ehh, I don't think you have it the right way... I'd rather clean up vomit from the floor than diarrhea... but then again, I'd rather just sit on the toilet with a bucket or trash can to my face so I can do both without worrying about juggling... The strain of vomiting may force out some diarrhea... The vomiting may come suddenly or while you're in the middle of having a bout of diarrhea. Best to be prepared for both at once than picking and choosing... and choosing wrong...
raven_of_azarath 35
I remember when I learned this. I had woken up in the middle of the night with stomach pains, so I ran to the toilet and sat down. Soon after, I realized I needed to throw up to so I got on the floor and did. I didn’t flush first. Always flush when switching. Splash back’s a bitch.
longnight83 9
... show us on the doll where your grammar hurt you. All joke aside, 1: Yeah. Ew. That sucks. 2: This would have been easier if you'd written "you should throw up, then have diarrhea. "