Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML
Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, I went to the company's health clinic to treat muscle spasms and a possible cracked rib. In the process the old quack doc and overly eager nurses wound up giving me a storng laxative and 3 enemas, two of them quite large. Then I still had to return to work. FML
Today, just like everyday, I opened my med box, took out a blister pack and took one of the pills before putting the pack back in the box. Today, not like everyday, I had diarrhea. Turns out one of the packs was laxatives put in my med box by my boyfriend because they looked the same as my meds. FML
Today, I was tired from an all-nighter I'd pulled because I thought I had the next four days off work. I got called in, and went because I have bills to pay. However, the amount of energy drinks I drank to stay on top of my job duties gave me such bad diarrhea, I had to go home. FML
Today, I accidentally took an Ex Lax instead of an Immodium. It's gonna be a fun night. FML
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Top comments
ribbyc80 0
well, when the chocolate milk starts flowing ur gunna be awake anyway, so mission accomplished...
paras0mnia 3
Didn't your parents teach you not to take candy from strangers? :P
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Comments (119)
iLazy 0
That musta been a shitty situation. Hope it wasn't your car.
epyk_pryncess 8
that phrase is so overused... +1000 to whoever comes up with a new "shit" phrase....
iLazy 0
Shit is so often nowadays I notice some has been applied to your face (+1000 points or -1000 dislikes?)
imlagginglol 0
Aw dammit I think I just stepped into a shitty argument
epyk_pryncess 8
you're commenting on my face? because you don't have a pic, and I pointed the OBVIOUS lack of creativity on your part? you really have to pay attention in life, mediocrity goes unnoticed in a positive aspect.
epyk_pryncess 8
and you don't get shit for trying to spew it
comepoopwithme 0
common #4 I could shit a better argument then that!
epyk_pryncess 8
#18... after eating alphabet soup, right? haha
iLazy 0
How old are you 5? Still talking about alphabet soup. And why should I post a photo of myself? Clearly it just leaves many openings to be insulted for. In this case, you are the perfect example and have now shown your lack of maturity through your comments.
perdix 31
Your coworker's friend thought you had a stick up your ass, and just wanted you to be a regular guy.
epyk_pryncess 8
5? is that as high as you can count? (alphabet soup came from a picture caption) sorry you don't have a sense of humor. and you can say all you want on here about me and my looks. clearly that shows YOUR lack of maturity. and sense of humor. just let it go, I promise you'll be ok in the morning
iLazy 0
It has come to my attention now that you seem to keep think everything in your country applies to the entire world. That quite shows how narrow-minded you are. You preach of my lack of humour but, although clichè, my 1st comment was indeed a pun which you see one too many times and just decided to find a reason to begin this argument.
epyk_pryncess 8
so now, with MY original comment being a joke, and you have to pull my physical appearance out, it is now MY fault for you taking a stab at me for how I look? sorry I'm not Malibu barbie, but seriously? ask anyone. the "shitty situation" joke is old, and with me joking, you took it up your ass. and don't stereotype my attitude because I live in the US, I'd be just the same if I were anyone else. anything else you care to say? because this is turning into a retarded ass shitshow.(btw, apology accepted:])
iLazy 0
Very well. So to sum it up is the misunderstanding between two parties. As for the last part I am unsure if you are demanding an apology but I have nothing much to say about that. "Let our paths never cross again" is the thought now I presume.
epyk_pryncess 8
the apology part was a joke.. note the smiley...
iLazy 0
Smiley immune...
sterlingarcher 1
jajahahaaha hahahaa hahaha hahaha omg that's hilarious!
Boothroid 0
I think epyk princess looks good I don't know his problem
littlemissFYL 5
Make peace. Piss glitter.
marmlr339 14
I have to agree with epyc pryncess. iLazy is just starting arguments. And you don't look like shit! :-)
lexiebabe1234 0
you could all just stfu.
abeastmuffin 1
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit a better argument than that
leeshxx 3
shut the **** up!!!! sirin?! where are ya?!? bangammer up the rectum is due woman!
leeshxx 3
ban hammer*
ribbyc80 0
well, when the chocolate milk starts flowing ur gunna be awake anyway, so mission accomplished...
Noob30 0
Grabbin Pills!
lyndifluff 6
well I'm sorry to say this op but you kinda deserve it for taking a pill that you didn't know anything about and that was obvious cuz now your blowing up the bathroom. next time just get your own or ask to read the bottle. just saying.
spartanfan68 0
great lesson ...not no ones going to feed their driver date rape drugs also if we can take anything away from Hollywood it's that date rape drugs get you 80 grand and a tiger
FMLollie 7
I don't think this was an accident more like a 'joke' from the friend.
hypnotiq_trini 0
I guess that's what happens when you take pills from people you don't know... YDI
BaskenRobin 2
Aw darn. That's what I was gonna write
flighted 1
I would have stopped the car and kicked the "friend" of the co worker out. I mean who does that// it doesn't sound like OP even knew this person
RealChinese 7
He likes shitty jokes. So shit on him. Literally.
boygeorgebaby 0
what a jerk! If he did it on purpose. next time, go for the cup of coffee! fyl op.
Livinia 11
Your coworker probably just wanted you out of the way for a couple hours.
NineFishMffns_fml 0
Man that's pretty terrible.. funny.. but terrible. What a shit head!
HeavyMetalViking 0
Re-lax and enjoy the oncoming Chocolate rain.
HighAsTheStars 0
oh ha ha I get it
paras0mnia 3
Didn't your parents teach you not to take candy from strangers? :P
SpectSelf 0
did u learn a lesson?
EvilPotato 15
and did YOU learn a lesson in grammar when I said "you" and not "u".
irokyoursox 6
70 shut up
fl0ffy 0
I LUV your pic 71 :D