Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's been a week since my girl told me she's pregnant and I fled town in a panic. I realized how badly I fucked up and called her, begging to come back. When I showed up at her house, her brothers kicked my ass and threw me in the street, promising to wring me dry for child support. FML
Today, to punish my wife for disrespecting me in front of my friends, I told her I wasn't going to help with the baby tonight. When I woke up, she and my baby were gone with nothing more than a text saying she was speaking to a divorce lawyer. Over one night. FML
Today, the guy I had a two-week long fling with and got pregnant by (while on birth control I might add), and who disappeared more than a decade ago after I told him, showed up at my door, demanding shared custody of my daughter. While he is her biological parent, she’s never met him and was terrified. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, I had a chat with a one-night stand and she's decided to keep the child. My life is basically over. FML
Today, my wife somehow convinced a judge to force me to pay child support for a child that isn’t mine. I recently discovered our son was the result of an affair and not biologically mine, so I divorced her, but the judge is forcing me to keep supporting them financially. FML
Today, my pregnant wife has been crying for hours after she found out that I’d slept with the woman who does her ultrasounds. That woman happened to have been my prom date nearly 20 years ago and I had no idea she moved back in town, let alone worked for our doctor. FML
Today, at 6 a.m., the cops burst into our home. My husband was slammed to the ground and I had a gun pointed at me. I was naked and eight months pregnant. We had moved in the day before, they were coming to arrest the previous tenant. FML
Today, my ex-wife announced that she's taking me to court for child support. Her kids were just my stepkids and we weren't even married a year, but she apparently has a pretty good lawyer on her side. FML
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Top comments
FluffythePink 23
You ****** around without protection and now you are finding out 🤷 Zero sympathy and props to your wife for no longer putting up with your bullshit. Hope she rinses you in the divorce and the baby mama takes you for everything you owe. Maybe, just maybe you'll grow tf up and start acting like an actual adult now... But we all doubt that. Dumb arse wanker.
Shzusuziq11 12
Cheaters get no sympathy
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Comments (5)
FluffythePink 23
You ****** around without protection and now you are finding out 🤷 Zero sympathy and props to your wife for no longer putting up with your bullshit. Hope she rinses you in the divorce and the baby mama takes you for everything you owe. Maybe, just maybe you'll grow tf up and start acting like an actual adult now... But we all doubt that. Dumb arse wanker.
Shzusuziq11 12
Cheaters get no sympathy
Vesi 30
I'm genuinely wondering if the site admins are posting rage-bait to drum up interaction. First, she would have had to go to family court to prove him the father. I think OP would know if they were being taken to court for establishing paternity. A woman can't just point to one guy and say "He's the father." and automatically get court ordered child support. There is a legal process that must be gone through and all this reads as rage bait.
BurnInDemonFire 39
You know this is FML, and not "Post An Essay About Your Life", right? There's a maximum character limit, so he can't tell the whole story.
Alan Staff 59
Nah, I let stories like this one through because I'm hoping OP will create an account (if they don't have one already) and give us the rest of the story, especially since the ending sounds a bit hyperbolic. Come to think of it, the whole story sounds hyperbolic!
BurnInDemonFire 39
It's a shame you're more of a Homer Simpson as opposed to a Thomas Wayne.
Karmarocks946 9
I won't comment one way or the other on the abortion aspect but you deserved to have your wife find out you cheated on her