Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I’m the latest learner of the lesson that, however desperate one is for relief from both, it is wrong to take sleeping pills (for insomnia) and laxatives (for constipation) on the same night. I'd have been fine alone. The catch is a night of pooping as I slept taught my guy that I’m bad to sleep with. FML
Today, I learned the hard way why no matter how constipated you are, it is never a good idea to use a suppository when you are tired. FML
Today, I learned a valuable life lesson : Never attempt to swallow your pills with a swig of hot tea. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, I accidentally took an Ex Lax instead of an Immodium. It's gonna be a fun night. FML
Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML
Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML
Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML
Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML
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Top comments
lad088 0
why would you even try that in the first place?
erikjh1234 0
u got the squirts in your sleep!!! lmfao
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Comments (147)
erikjh1234 0
u got the squirts in your sleep!!! lmfao
natirixoxo 0
so.. you wanted to have a bowel movement but be unconcious for it??
marinus_fml 20
I heard that you should never ever under any circumstances ever say 'never' YTDI OP
honestlove11 0
haa! what were you thinking? I'm sure you coulda waited til morning to take the lax. that sucks though!
Thabb 0
That would be why you actually see what a medicine does before you use it.
SilenNex 0
lol, lol, lol, lol, lol, lol ,lol, lol, lol, lol, lol, lol,
azhein 0
aren't you supposed to take the laxatives before you go to bed?
parapeople 5
There are so many ignorant people in the world. YDI *sigh*
Einstein714 0
did you dream you shit your pants?
samanthadude 0
Time to change the sheets op!
Burgessnk 0
Agreed. in fact I'm sure there was a very similar fml not long ago. Do people not read this site before they submit stories?
fameandfortune 0
thanks for the advice. YDI
incredibadder 0
that should have been a given...I suppose common sense isn't so common.
abeattie93 0
must have been a pretty shitty day for you then :P
lky830 0
#4 makes way too much sense, eh?
ninjacapo 2
ydi dumb ***. theres this thing called common sence
YourLittleSpies 0
'YDI, dumb ****. There's this thing called common sense.' Yes, there is. Use it.
raymel 5
well I learned something new today :) lol jk
austin95 0
this has been on here before just in different words
kev57_fml 0
I'm guessing op's parents are cousins
austin95 0
and when you poop in your sleep you poop for real haha family guy
DarkHelmet 10
well that's common ****** since!!!
hobogirl 0
dude this is an old ass joke! from like the seventies, can't believe mods actually let this one in!
lololol32 0
It's not the fact that you shit yourself that grosses me out, it's the fact that you slept in it. OP, for your sanity's sake, I hope ******** yourself an earthquake woke you up...
arhanes 0
This is on a poster at Jimmy John's
hockeyguy79 0
hahahaha ydi. I acctually did lol on this one
Xanax_Pazzo 0
I LOVE AMBIEN LMAO :)
sarahjane86 0
laxatives are supposed to be taken at night. they work overnight, while you sleep, so you have a bowel movement the next day. plus I've read this quote elsewhere before.
nightswimming 0
since when? EDIT * supposed to be a reply to #79*
ladiesman14 0
u should have taken an ALLI and diuretic pill too ? so they could call your hole the Milky Way.
arhanes 0
This is on a Jimmy Johns poster
lad088 0
why would you even try that in the first place?
LifesRFked 0
exactly what i was thinking
sourgirl101 29
Ha ha- they couldn't sleep because they were constipated.
brit8741 0
not saying this is fake, but there are icons with this all over the Internet and signs at lots of bars everywhere. YDI either way.
spzb 3
in that case ydi op for not getting enough fiber in your diet.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Some laxatives say they take up to 12 hours to work, so I can understand thinking it wouldn't kick in right away. Still, taking a sleeping pill with it is just asking for trouble, especially if you haven't ever used that type of laxative. Try a stool softener next time, OP >.<
SydneyTsunami 0
eww! YDI! have fun cleaning your sheets.
lets_be_ian 5
did you go to bed on the toilet, or go to the toilet in bed? One sounds much worse than the other to me.
slayerman666 0
shitty deal xD
Bizenghastly 0
u so punny
iamchuck 0
When you're snoring in bed and you fell a wetness spread, diarhea cha cha cha
omgYoUbasTards 0
lmao 8 wins.
Shytinonmyself 3
win. ⇑
Eyeliner_fml 0
WTF ydi xD
Eyeliner_fml 0
can anyone tell me what's anti-flood protection?
shananigans 0
It's generally used to hinder spammers from flooding forums with tons of pointless or offensive posts. I didn't know FML had a spamming problem though.
Eyeliner_fml 0
oh Kay thnx 18 xD
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
18: Then apparently, anti-flood is working. >.<
lettertjes 0
Why would you even do that? Most laxatives work wihtin a few hours, don't you read the instructions? And also: if a laxative causes diarrhea, you took too much.
RubberDelight 0
ahhh shit one!
trex23t 0
what made you think that was a good idea?