Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I’m the latest learner of the lesson that, however desperate one is for relief from both, it is wrong to take sleeping pills (for insomnia) and laxatives (for constipation) on the same night. I'd have been fine alone. The catch is a night of pooping as I slept taught my guy that I’m bad to sleep with. FML
Today, I learned the hard way why no matter how constipated you are, it is never a good idea to use a suppository when you are tired. FML
Today, I learned a valuable life lesson : Never attempt to swallow your pills with a swig of hot tea. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, I accidentally took an Ex Lax instead of an Immodium. It's gonna be a fun night. FML
Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML
Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML
Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML
Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML
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Top comments
lad088 0
why would you even try that in the first place?
erikjh1234 0
u got the squirts in your sleep!!! lmfao
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Comments (147)
Brittonica 0
AHAHAHAHAHA omg this is the funniest fml ever!
kay729 7
D: that must have been a pleasant next morning
bugmenotmofo 34
Fake... Thats a very old joke
anavv 0
No shit...well actually a lot of shit I guess
r0kstaar 0
ydi for lack of common sense.
curtyman11 9
if you poop in your dreams, you poop in real life!
frenchie45 0
lmaoo woww!!! thatsss funny(; hah yur shiittt yur pants and didn't know it! hah I think yu should wash yur sheets .. or throw them out!!
asdfdsa 0
sounds like you really shit the bed... badum *pssh*
eduardosuritalov 0
wow, that musta been one hell of a nite...
lovablekennyXD 0
lol now that's what you call a hotpocket...nasty shit between 2 sheets XD lmao I crack myself up! :D