Anonymous
Canada
Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
xoxoblondee
Valley Village, United States
Today, I learned the hard way why no matter how constipated you are, it is never a good idea to use a suppository when you are tired. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML
jack
London, United Kingdom
Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Stuck
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML
Maddie
Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML
Anonymous
Today, I was prescribed two different medications. I was also informed that they will both give me diarrhea for the next two weeks. FML
Anonymous
Whiplash
Today, I realized that the medication I take because of bowel issues only works for about 6 hours. After that, it's one run to the toilet after another. The problem is that I can only take it twice a day. FML
sofakingweetodit
United States
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Rob
France
Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said, "Have fun!" FML
Top comments
Idiotskillme 20
It's easy, just cure yourself and then take the medicine!
jakers8424 18
Well that's a problem
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Comments (64)
jakers8424 18
Well that's a problem
erindgentry 28
More like a shitty situation to be STUCK in. I'm sorry, please show me the door.
gogo44444 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What does defecate mean?
201chasew 22
Defecate is the action of pooping.
MrSassypants 34
Don't listen to number #18. Defecate is a type of coffee. So every time you walk into Starbucks, ask for defecated coffee....... I'm a terrible person.
trevorr_16 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#33, number number 18? Sorry, I'm a grammar police officer.
MrSassypants 34
You're not a grammar police officer. You're a grammar meter maid.
fuckpotato 12
Mr. Sassy Pants is living up to his name.
MrsReed 14
@ Mr Sassypants, I think I'm gonna do that just for ***** and giggles...
Idiotskillme 20
It's easy, just cure yourself and then take the medicine!
LilMissCanadian 22
Logic these days. Getting better, am I right?
higgysaurus 18
Tbh it prolly tells you that so that when you take it, shit doesn't come flying out, with you unprepared.
Metalslipp 15
^ if it makes shit come flying out of you, I think the dosage should be lowered
amileah13 26
The irony in that
chrisbeaudoin 26
Thanks, captain obvious
UnluckyLatina 22
You're welcome sergeant sarcasm ..I had to I'm sorry
MrSassypants 34
No need to apologize, Lieutenant Latina. ^_^
katachristic 19
nice one Major MrSassypants
hellnosucka 27
who knew army members were active on fml?
ladycryptic 19
I think most comments state the obvious, what else will comments do?
MELKOZAR 27
*facepalm*
nesssy 16
So this is how the pharmaceutical industry tries to steal your money these days..
vikky538 29
Defacate with what?
Warmonger_Smurf 29
I'd love to see some other instructions made by this company. Please clean your hands before washing them. Please clean your clothes before laundering them. For best results put on clothes, before getting dressed.
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
:)
Colon_Man 17
"Not for other use."
Poglia 15
Instead of taking constipation medications you could simply start to drink more water (at least 1.5 to 2 liters per day), eat more fibers (vegetables, fruits, whole grains) and exercise more. If you do that you will easily and quickly defecate 1-2 times per day without much effort.
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
sometimes it's not that simple. OP could have a medical condition like gastroparesis or IBS.
militarybrat 21
Yeah because everyones body works the same way. What a novel idea!
Brandi_Faith 34
Op, if those meds don't work, I highly suggest talking to your doctor about taking Magnesium Glycinate capsules! They're all natural but work way better than any medication out there. They're really easy on the stomach and intestines and you rarely feel the painful cramping that comes with emptying. I know of several people that have medical conditions and are severely constipated all the time and taking laxatives don't help, but the magnesium does. It's wonderful and all natural. Message me if you want to know more.
Brandi_Faith 34
23, I can't believe you know what Gastroparesis is! I have Gastroparesis and any time I mention it no one knows what it is. No one but doctors know what it is practically. A lot of doctors I've met don't even know anything about it. Makes me happy to know someone outside the medical world even knows what it is. Lol. Sorry for rambling, but it's completely taken over my life, and it's frustrating that no one knows what it is. No money going into research if no ones even heard of it. Lol. Gastroparesis awareness :) haha.
SPN_lover666 27
#37, My mom also has it and the doctors used to tell her it was all in her head or was from the pain meds she took. I am glad there are other people who have it and I wish doctors knew more about it
SPN_lover666 27
#8, Everybody's body is different. What works for you might now work for the OP. I drink a lot of water, walk every day, and love fruits, veggies, and wheat bread. The other night I had to use pills because I was constipated
SecundusSecunda 27
Was there a troll face next to the instructions? Lol
Dominus101 20
Kinda Defeats the purpose, at this rate you will have multiple #2 appointments day FYL OP