anonamous
United States
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Fresno, United States
Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Tucson, United States
Doggy dog world
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
phillyfan4life
United States
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
smellsofeggs
United Kingdom
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Addicted2FML303
United States
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
fmlman
Rawlins, United States
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Anonymous
Bedford, United States
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
RomanceFail
Crestwood, United States
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
thedogkisser
United States
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Foreigner Fail
Jackson Galaxy moment
Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML
Top comments
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Tough love bitch!
mpj13 8
She loves you!
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Comments (107)
Thruan 5
Yet again someone who has no idea about dogs. Your dog sees you as a subordinate, lower in the pack, scum. You did something he/she didn't like so she disciplined you. Nothing more, nothing less. Train your dog!
tfarris65 0
I agree 100%. Glad someone knows what they are talking about.
redmnky21 8
hugging a dog and going for their face causes a natural reaction to protect themselves, it's how dogs fight and establish dominance
Thruan 5
Grrrrr no. If you are the pack leader they will not act aggressively towards you or try to be dominant over you. Problem is. 98% of people have no idea about even the most basic dog physcology.
sqeakyclean 7
Hey everyone! The dog whisper is commenting on FML!! ;)
Thruan 5
Not a dog wisperer. Im a dog trainer. And getting sick of the shit people spew about dogs.
sqeakyclean 7
I agree. People are stupid, don't let it upset you.
meggy2010 5
I'm guessing she didn't like your kisses, but I'm just guessing..
Brandon2916 9
some people use words to show love some people use gestures....and some use maulings
IIRangerLacrosse 3
Did u sneak up on her?
wittygirl 8
Did you forget to pop a mentos in your mouth before kissing her?
kerr888 0
Well at least she knows your there :)
mrtjawesome 14
maybe shes asking for new chew toys?
aussiesays717 1
Ouchie... :o that gotta sucks O.P
ilovepillows 0
wellll.....she's a keeper(: