Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML
Doggy dog world
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Jackson Galaxy moment
Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML
Top comments
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Tough love bitch!
mpj13 8
She loves you!
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Comments (107)
4leafclover888 3
Tough love!
MissHayleyJames 7
Meh. I don't care about all the "dogs lick their asses" crap. I'll still kiss my dogs, as long as I didn't see them specifically doing that seconds before.
disc120 2
Dogs are not people dummy. They behave differently to what you would consider normal social cues.
shovelface1990 4
Stop being a pussy.
Calyx_fml 22
Repeat after me, a dog is not a human. Again? A dog is not a human. They don't respond to affection quite the same way that people do. Don't treat your dog like a child and it won't treat you like a squirrel. Treat your dog like another dog would. YDI
Keliosan 6
Most dogs take be held around the neck as a sign of aggression. I'm guessing she wasn't in a great mood beforehand also considering most dogs don't usually randomly attack people that live with them. Bad timing on your part man.
Ambience138 11
If you lived over here you'd be forced to put your dog down.
goddamniluvme 0
Oh u sooooooo deserved that... It's a DOG, not a person. But maybe it's his way of sayin "aye get up off me, ur breath be kickin!"
emmanizzer 6
D:
xgetxbentx 13
I have a feeling this is a probably more of a ydi... Having worked with animals off and on for 8 years I can definitely say that your dog would not just maul your face randomly. Animals can't talk, you need to learn their body language so you can avoid those situations. Getting right up in a dogs face will do one of two things usually, make them feel threatened or make them think you're trying to play. Both could easily result in a bite to the face If you're going to have a pet, you need to educate yourself on stuff like its body language and what might come off threatening. So pretty much you either did something to set it off or you're exaggerating and really it was just trying to play but was playing too rough.