anonamous
United States
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Fresno, United States
Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Tucson, United States
Doggy dog world
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
phillyfan4life
United States
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
smellsofeggs
United Kingdom
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Addicted2FML303
United States
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
fmlman
Rawlins, United States
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Anonymous
Bedford, United States
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
RomanceFail
Crestwood, United States
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
thedogkisser
United States
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Foreigner Fail
Jackson Galaxy moment
Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML
Top comments
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Tough love bitch!
mpj13 8
She loves you!
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Comments (107)
spottyblanket 8
Urgh, why do people kiss their pets--it is disgusting. Your dog probably didn't want you bothering it and getting real close 24/7...I mean would you like it? The dog is a living thing, not something for you to oogle over. Animals carry germs too, stop kissing your dog already. If it randomly mauls people then it may have to be put down, well if you lived in UK anyway. If it is dangerous, make sure it wears a muzzle in public. What if it mauls a young child or something? 0_o
brittany1655 5
good thing she didnt moul u across somebody else's face. Now that would have been a horrible situation.
sweetzombie88 0
You can't maul somebody across somebody else's face.
sweetzombie88 0
My cat loves kisses... But on the top of the head. Sometimes when I don't give him a kiss when hes on my lap he puts his front legs on my chest to reach my face and puts his head to my lips lol. He's a couple years old. Maybe get a cat lol. I've had multiple cats who liked kisses.
rl021489 5
Most dogs don't like to be hugged..
mister_jedi55 0
One of my priorities after being maimed by a dog is to post it online...
Fluhz 6
You can do anything to my dog and he wouldn't hurt a fly! I sometimes use him as a pillow :)
salamanderss11 1
Kill it
Serinar 5
For a dog, the hug would have been a threatening gesture. Putting your face near hers, from her stand-point probably translated into you attempting to bite or attack. Should probably research canine behavior.
Meaningless 1
Not all dogs like to be hugged.
emma__lea 5
She was just kissing you back... Albeit a little rough...