Today, my girlfriend sent out a mass text to everyone on her contact list. She's getting married in a month. I didn't propose to her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in front of about 75 people in the fanciest restaurant in town. She told me she was already engaged, while holding up her right hand. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML
Today, after my girlfriend telling me for years that she would marry me in a heartbeat, I finally proposed. She said no. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught the bouquet at her sister's wedding. I took it as a sign so after we got home, I proposed. She laughed and said no way. I'm done. FML
Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend of 9 months that I was ready for marriage and start having kids. She hasn't called or texted me since. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML
Today, as I got down on one knee, and was in the middle of saying, "Will you marry me?" my partner answered a text message. Apparently it was more important. FML
Today, I woke up to a note on my nightstand from my fiancée, along with the ring I proposed to her with yesterday, which stated that not only was she not ready to be married, but she’d been planning to end things before I “blindsided" her. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
At least she informed you :)
HSOMGF 5
Consider it a BIG bullet dodged. She's obviously a *****. You'll do better in the future.
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Comments (90)
marinus_fml 20
At least she informed you :)
mfjkr 10
grow a beard
bbucaro98 0
grow a beard?
notsocrazee 0
beards solve everything. look at Jesus, Chuck Norris, and most importantly Zach Galifinakis.
chino627 0
she proposed just hope she don't make u take her last name
nlang08048 0
amazing best qoute ever
KatrinaKitten 16
Wait, wouldn't that mean she would've been cheating on her fiancé? You should tell the guy she's marrying, or maybe just come to the wedding and announce how she betrayed you.
techweed 12
I find this FML difficult to ********** to
xxlauruh 0
you should one up her and just get a chick pregnant.
VinegarStrokes 0
He should get her pregnant and make the other dude take care of it unknowingly. We'll see how long they last then!
bingababe 16
how is screwing his own life by getting some chick pregnant getting "one up" on her?! #14 had the smarter idea.
LittleMissLady 0
17.. That's a little contradicting considering it wouldn't matter if it was his now ex-girlfriend or the lady from down the street, either way, he's getting a chick pregnant.
itz_towelie 6
getting a girl pregnant will solve any problem
bingababe 16
Well she's obviously sleeping with this "new" guy and if they're getting married he doesn't know about OP.....she will either have to tell her fiancé the child isn't his, or they'll raise the child as theirs. Either way it would clearly be putting her the shit.
DuRpY 5
"putting her the shit?" don't understand this aussie vernacular, but i love it! sidenote: since they're synonyms, would it still be syntactically correct to say, "i shit too much on this waste?"
bingababe 16
haha oops I left out the "in" as in "putting her IN the shit"...... As for the "sidenote" I guess you can say whatever you like :-)
nerdchic 5
so ******* up a child's life for his own pleasure is suppose to be getting one up on her? you should go jump off a cliff for saying that
xxlauruh 0
yeah jumping off a cliff for saying a statement in jest seems reasonable.
Xxak907xX 0
I agree with #14
Ninjasaurus18 9
48- That's what I said.
m0tl3ycru3 0
she got tired of waiting for you to pop the question.
lidemocr 0
yup missed the boat
foilindo 0
think of it this way. if you play your cards right, you can be "the other one"!! great success. lol
WompWompWomp123 7
Send her a toaster.
DropDead77 11
re-gift a bread maker
WompWompWomp123 7
Perhaps she's one of those crazy ladies that plan their marriage before the gentleman knows he's about to wed. She probably had her dress and vows prepared the day you two met. Congratulations sir. Perhaps.
XmyviolentheartX 13
Send her a bachelorette present containing a ***** and tell her to go **** herself. lol.
HSOMGF 5
Consider it a BIG bullet dodged. She's obviously a *****. You'll do better in the future.
MW2nBAKE 0
agreed g
Ann23 7
bitch move right there, not only did she go behind your back but she couldn't even tell it your face she had to text it to you !
ericherr1 7
hey beautiful:)
mintcar 10
She's probably made a habit of cheating, and if that's the case then you have nothing to worry about OP. The marriage won't last long.
hypnotiq_trini 0
she got tired of waiting for you :)