Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML
Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML
Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML
Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML
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Top comments
ohjoy15 33
Proofread. Can never do it too many times.
cutycat136 28
Make him stand on the side of the road with a big sign that reads 'I messed up my girls resumes and wrote on them that she had a dick. I am the dick'
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Comments (65)
fordneagles 34
You deserve it for not proofreading before handing them out.
ratorr2 23
I'm sure she checked it several times when she first created it. She shouldn't have to re-proofread her own resume when SHE's the one who wrote it.
thejonac 21
tbh i think that wasn't a joke to be played, he could've done it elsewhere, but a job is a serious matter. have a talk to him?
elusiveshame 22
The breakup talk, hopefully. Anyone who messes with your livelihood isn't someone you should be involved with.
elusiveshame 22
You deserve it for 1.) not proof reading your resume, and 2.) not protecting your personal files from being tampered with.
TADspace 30
Look on the bright side, at least they read it?
Awesumous_ 5
Proofread it first, and dump him
bayy1432 14
FYL indeed but also YDI for not proofreading it
classicsparkles 17
Apparently your boyfriend decided to include himself on your resume.
jqmalang 17
You should of double checked before printing them out. But you have to agree, that is funny.
heryseshta 9
Messing with someone's future like that isn't funny, it's disrespectful.
BigxXxDeal 14
well he shouldn't have done it no. but she should have checked it too... funny thought but probably shouldn't have been executed
Bragi 12
Listen up, y'all: 1. There is a limit to how many time you proof read something. Once it's done and named "resume_final" that's it. 2. If you have to protect your resume from your bf, your mistake was not in data management. OP: this cannot have been the first time he showed himself. YDI.
Zarcissa 34
Thanks to this FML, my boyfriend now knows better than to mess with my future resumes. Gave him a fair warning.