Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone fell silent as my dad began to pray for our meal. FML
Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML
Today, after having horrific constipation the day before, I finally got the rock hard turd out of my system. Things got awkward as I cried out in pain and my mom asked me what was wrong. Realizing the dining room and kitchen was nearby, I said "Never mind, it's gross!" I think she figured it out anyways. FML
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
Today, while I was in the bathroom my mom walked in and tried to have a conversation with me about my bowel movements. I'm 23, and this is a regular thing. FML
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
Today, I was sitting at my computer, listening and singing along to some music. I started singing louder, thinking that I was pretty good. Just then, my mom comes barging through the door in a frenzy saying, "Are you all right? Are you hurt?" FML
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Top comments
YuckyDuckyLucky 17
In her mind you're still just a little kid with a bad stomach
amberr_harperr 15
just wait it out. eventually, they have to leave... right?
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Comments (77)
YuckyDuckyLucky 17
In her mind you're still just a little kid with a bad stomach
everton99 16
I don't think moms ever quit worrying about their children.
JustinJK 21
Didn't Zyzz, the guy in your display pic, die a few years ago :(?
JustinJK 21
Didn't Zyzz, the guy in your profile pic, die a few years ago :(??
brunettesara5722 17
I don't mean to sound rude but if you live with your parents at 27 what do you expect?
SueAnn23 8
I really don't see a problem with that.. just say you weren't feeling good..
amberr_harperr 15
just wait it out. eventually, they have to leave... right?
TeasinDaNoobs 16
#2 is right! Just sit tight!
OhWhoCares 42
Well... what if they didn't plan on leaving for another 5 hours? What if they all came for lunch and stayed for dinner and dessert? I don't think OP is properly prepared for a bathroom campout.
prettyReckless96 10
At least she cares enough to ask if you're okay
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
being a bit dramatic op
feven 32
"Yeah mom! Just taking a shower" turn on shower and continue to use bathroom :)
iLike2Teabag 27
OP should have had an Alka-Seltzer bath.
ichinikis 16
Well what are you doing living with your parents at 27?
jeff_boles 12
At least they didn't overhear any 'noises'.
VeganDarkLight 31
I wouldn't be too sure about that. I actually think they did hear him and that's why she asked. Wouldn't be much of an FML otherwise.
ashleybag0402 1
if you still live at you're mom's house at 27, you're privacy deserved to be violated. Move out!
[email protected] 14
Do you have any idea how expensive it is to live by yourself?
ashleybag0402 1
yea I'm 23 in college furthering my career and work full time. I've lived on my own since 18. did I also mention I'm a single mom of 1 who can't get welfare. he's 27 with probably no kids. I think it's possible.
lovethatstach 18
you have idea OPs situation. maybe they got laid off, or are going through a nasty divorce. I don't think you should judge anyone based on where they are living. sometimes the best way to better yourself IS to live at home, in order to get your ducks in a row.
kindasortayeah 25
No one deserves to have their privacy violated ever. Besides, perhaps OP's parents live in her home.
limabeans101029 21
8- You have no idea what OP's situation might be. Maybe she can't afford to live by herself yet, maybe she's going through something (like a divorce as someone has already suggested) and just needs a place to stay for a while, maybe her parents live in *her* house, etc. Also she might not even live with them. My sister is 28 and lives with her boyfriend but when she visits our parents' house she still sometimes refers to it as "home". Anyway, the point is you can't judge OP's situation from a little fml.
kbecks87 16
#13...you're a single mom at 23? Yeah, you're clearly making great life decisions. Stop being such a jerk about other people's lives. Live and let live, man.
spoo 24
It's doable, but you might not be able to have cable, xbox, ipad, BMW..... This world is affordable for a single who tries.
JustinJK 21
Ashley most people would look down at the life choices that led you to becoming a single mother at 23. I'm almost 23 and I'm completely dependent on my parents. I'm a full time student who volunteers and actively interns. I'd rather shop, vacation, explore potential interests, party, etc than be raising a child alone. Hopefully at 27 I'll be independent. My brother has been since he graduated college (for the most part). But no one knows where life will lead them. Maybe my fiance and I are looking for a house. maybe I was just laid off. Maybe Im living with them to save up money. Maybe I just came back from the Peace Corps (a very probable situation). Everyone should be allowed basic rights like privacy. Not just you because you think you're entitled to them because you think you work harder than people. Hopefully you'll think twice before making an ignorant comment again. Maybe you should consider other people's life circumstances.
duckie227 22
And what's wrong with living at home at 27? They probably are better off than you are.
clemscott 10
Why should you deserve to be on welfare just cause you got knocked up at a young age and can't afford to take care of the kid? That's your fault
Brandi_Faith 34
I find it interesting that everyone keeps saying op "still" lives at home. Maybe they're going through a divorce or just got laid off or something and is just moved back in there for the year till they get back on their feet. Just because op is living at home doesn't mean she acts like a spoiled child and is using her parents. I'm 28 and "still" live with my parents due to health issues, chronic pain, and being on disability and unable to work or go to school. No sense in judging when you don't know the full story.
ronzi 15
She cares for you out Loud
wtffml1979 22
You're 27 and still living at home. Deal with it!!
gabwielle 8
There's nothing to be embarrassed about honestly. Everyone gets stuck in a bathroom eventually. Worst case scenario is in a public bathroom.
ma12r 22
Parents...they'll always embarrass you no matter how old you are.