Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I applied for my first job. I didn't know how to write a resume, so I copied and pasted one from someone else and reworked it. I got on the bus, handed it in, and left. Then I remembered I forgot to change the contact info and date. FML
Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML
Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML
Today, my cousin got hired after six days of job-hunting. I graduated from university six months ago and haven't even scored a single interview; he's a deadbeat junkie who just got out of prison after doing time for armed robbery. FML
Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML
Today, I realized after turning in my resume to over 100 job openings over the past month, that the resume I've been submitting does not have my phone number or any other contact information besides my name. FML
Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML
Today, my boyfriend's 16-year-old daughter got a job. I'm 29, with a Master's degree and I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, I realized I sent over 2 dozen job applications with my dating profile word doc instead of my resume. FML
Today, being jobless and all, I tried calling my dad for a job after my many years of pride. He invited me to an interview to compete against 10 people, probably more qualified than I am. FML
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Top comments
bhtooefr 0
If this isn't fake... Try putting your first initial on the resume, instead of your first name. That way, they won't see your gender in your name, and you might get your foot in the door. I've seen it work for other people... (I'm a guy, though, so that trick won't help me. Sucks.)
Jcataquiz 0
I submitted this FML, and if anyone else is wondering, i wasn't making this up and I'm only 18 years old. haha
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Comments (89)
glassisass 0
sorry dude but that sucks.
irishdancer 0
agreed... Maybe they like younger people there?
LatinoHeat 0
Total YDI here. Your cousin changed his hame to "Clay Aiken" and that is why he got hired.
tangerine_12 0
okay..."LatinoHeat", would you quit commenting on FMLs concerning Clay Aiken? seriously its retarded, ive seen about 3 FMLs in a row with comments saying "YDI...blah blah blah...Clay Aiken." obsessed much?
HahaYDI 0
YDI for mistaking "give" for "gave".
Zero2Sixty 0
it doesn't suck bcuz this guy probable put something on his resume 16 years old can't do
pineapples_fml 5
i agree with #57. it's weird how you haven't been hired, your engrish is obviously excellent
spoo 24
30 resumes = a good first day...
jazziue 0
mabey its ur name
StoryOfTheYear 15
You must have a really bad resume for a 30 year old if they believed that he had the same amount of work done in that 14 year difference
Neorecon19 18
Can't OP's cousin get into legal trouble for submitting a resume with false information on it?
Pinkraincoat 18
Isn't that illegal?
zymn 6
so a woman's resume works for a guy? weird.
medfly 2
maybe he is applying for less fancy jobs. or she is pregnant / with young kids, which is like a death sentence when looking for a job.
lizzzie_fml 0
Just goes to show about prejudice in the work place. There have been studies. The exact same resume for a guy and a girl will get different outcomes.
senior_dingdong 0
THEREFORE WOMEN SHOULD DO EVERYTHING FOR THE MEN! ******* GENIUS lollllllllll xD
senior_dingdong 0
anyways i was re reading all this and i realized... a womans resume obvs can work for a man but the age difference and the work experience would be the "wtf" in this FML how does a kid, probably, not definitely but probably, applying at some food joint, considering A)its his first resume & B) he's 16, land a job without any call to the womans professional references... i lold either the kid looks like a laid-off worker, or the chick is going no where in life
Subtext 10
Meh...replied to wrong comment. Sucks for you though...maybe your resume was good for a 16 year old but bad for someone of your age? Anyway, change your name to Max Power...should work perfectly!
iiTEMP524 0
its because you're a woman
StoryOfTheYear 15
7 = worlds creepiest profile pic ish........
M13LO 0
hey I need a resume to... do you think I can borrow yours??
eliz3 0
Clearly you haven't got a very nice name...
bhtooefr 0
If this isn't fake... Try putting your first initial on the resume, instead of your first name. That way, they won't see your gender in your name, and you might get your foot in the door. I've seen it work for other people... (I'm a guy, though, so that trick won't help me. Sucks.)
Subtext 10
It doesn't make one cool to call fake on an FML...actually it's just pissing people off because no one f****** cares...
doc_who 0
Whoa there cowboy. He didn't yell out "FAKE!" In fact he did the opposite and gave great advice. I am a guy as well so that advice would work against me as well I'm afraid.....
beetdook 0
no shit you're not getting a job with a 5 page resume. employers probably think you're an idiot. resumes are supposed to be one page, only the front, not even double sided. you can go onto a second page if you're like a big time professional with a lot of relevant experience. but every waitressing job and retail job you've ever had are not relevant when you're trying to get a real job. try making a resume that employers won't throw in the trash without even reading and you might actually get a job!
bla102 4
Read the fml, it didn't say that the resume was long.
plexico 4
It's very impressive for a 16-year-old to have been flipping burgers at McDonald's for 10 years after graduating college summa cum laude with a degree in English. For a 32-year-old, it's pathetic.
plexico 4
I thought for sure this comment would get some kind of response. It is one of my personal favorites.
senior_dingdong 0
i did it earlier, up there lol but i todes agree what a fking loooooooooserrrrrrrrr to be a 32 year old and have the aptitude to work at a damn movie theatre DOWNS DOWNS DOWNS DOWNS... etc. etc.
syndacit 0
Whoa talk about ultimate back stab.
PotatoBlankey39 2
....how old are you? might explain why your cousin got a job and you didn't. At least you have the satisfaction in knowing that he'll get fired once his employer finds out. :-)
Jcataquiz 0
i'm only 18. haha
Jcataquiz 0
I submitted this FML, and if anyone else is wondering, i wasn't making this up and I'm only 18 years old. haha
ZuRG_fml 7
Call his supervisor and say he lied on his resume. In most places, that'll get him fired pretty instantly.