Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML
Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML
Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML
Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML
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Top comments
ohjoy15 33
Proofread. Can never do it too many times.
cutycat136 28
Make him stand on the side of the road with a big sign that reads 'I messed up my girls resumes and wrote on them that she had a dick. I am the dick'
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Comments (65)
UmmOkThen 31
Maybe it's time to have a talk about maturity.
wakemeupplease 21
hmm what a lovely bf
whassallt26 13
It's quite funny, and I'm sure that it's fairly obvious that someone else wrote this to employers, not much harm done
sirrubberduckie 37
Yeah, right. I can virtually guarantee that no one will hire her based on that résumé.
meli1195 31
when it comes to jobs, they won't put up with this kind of stuff. if they see something like this on your resume they won't even think about hiring you. so yes there is some harm done
Zebediabolical 45
If you know the employer personally you /might/ be able to turn this around. If not, good luck with that.
HeadlessSparrow 20
At least the employer was kind enough to call you about that, so you can change it before sending out anymore resumes.. I hope you find a job soon!
weveallbeenthere 30
And this is why you proofread everything over and over again
lexwilder 16
he would no longer be my boyfriend.
Miss_Syntax 15
That was immature of him
ratorr2 23
I hate practical jokes. Someone always ends up getting hurt. You just wasted your time and 20 potential employers because he "thought it would be hilarious". I think your dick of a bf needs to either grow up or get out.
heryseshta 9
I can't say I would want to be with someone who was either so stupid they couldn't figure out when a joke goes too far or just flat out doesn't care. It could also be be is controlling and trying to prevent you from working.
sirrubberduckie 37
The question is, does *he* still have a dick after this incident?
rvontr88 21
I was going to pose the same question!