Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML
Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML
Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML
Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML
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Top comments
ohjoy15 33
Proofread. Can never do it too many times.
cutycat136 28
Make him stand on the side of the road with a big sign that reads 'I messed up my girls resumes and wrote on them that she had a dick. I am the dick'
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Comments (65)
Migole 36
I really don't get how people can be this dumb. A little prank, ok. But messing with that persons future? What the **** is wrong with some people? How did he think this would play out? "oh thanks honey for the good laugh. now that I can't get a job anywhere near you're gonna support my lifestyle indefinitely?"
chocolatelover96 14
Someone who treats such an important part of your life as a joke, should be kicked to the kerb. There's a time and place for joking about.
IWishIWasObama 12
is that English? the kerb? and by English I mean England English?
siggy_mcsigx 22
Yes, in the UK curb is spelled kerb.
IWishIWasObama 12
thank you
Matttis 7
Dump. Him.
IWishIWasObama 12
He should be ashamed of himself. That prank wasn't even funny!
Carnaxa 8
Yes and sadly you decided to date said dick and call him your boyfriend.
Axel5238 29
Never understood how stuff like this is a prank. Pranks I've always thought are supposed to be harmless, when your "prank" can effect someone's lively hood it's no longer a prank. I would end the relationship someone that's willing to do that and hurt your finical situation is not someone you want to be with.
averlinden21 2
Honestly that is funny, but that was rude of him to do. Especially when your trying to look for a job
RememberSchlitz 9
Smack him with it.
lulinator 40
Looks like he'll be paying all the bills for a while
devi_916 39
That is incredibly immature and thoughtless. Common sense says that would kill your chances of being successful in a job hunt. It's not funny and I can't understand why someone would want to do that to someone they're supposed to care about. I mean, how old is he? 13? If this is the first incident like this, talk to him. If not, I'd have to move on to someone more grown up.