Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML
Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML
Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML
Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML
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Top comments
ohjoy15 33
Proofread. Can never do it too many times.
cutycat136 28
Make him stand on the side of the road with a big sign that reads 'I messed up my girls resumes and wrote on them that she had a dick. I am the dick'
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Comments (65)
fmlsams 27
This is why you always proofread. ALWAYS.
HeWillBeLoved105 22
Doesn't he know a resúmè is the one thing you should never mess with?
HeWillBeLoved105 22
Résumé*
WintersChild 12
Dump his ass
Drosophila82 18
How can some people be so insensitive!
2retz 11
wow, way to have your back and support you in getting a job. well done bf, you're officially a@#$%. best of luck op.
danihammer 4
I would punch him in the face. You're supposed to help your partner succeed and progress in life, not hold them back. This was immature but also kind of malicious imo. What is wrong with that asshole?
MeltedMango 8
Seriously though, your boyfriend sounds ridiculously immature and unsupportive. Breaking up just might be a good thing.
The_Skittish_One 27
Regardless of whether you proofread your resume enough, it was still a terrible thing for him to do. Sabotaging people's job prospects is disgusting and not a joke. Jobs can be really hard to find even if you apply everywhere; luck can play a big enough part, no need to screw up your partner's chances even more! I hope that you can find a job, OP. Best of luck.
rickAUS 22
Even for people with years of experience it can be pretty rough. The vacancies to job seekers in Australia is about 1:7 on average. Some industries are worse than others. Given that OP was resume dropping I'm guessing this is for job #1 which is harder still. @OP: use Seek and LinkedIn. Even if is is your first job, faster and easier to get applications done. Edit: the job I started 4 months ago had over 200 applicants, just for example :-/
Witchylady 18
Your boyfriend is an idiot immature moron. And not worth dating. Start again. New resume and new boyfriend.
bhopejohnston 16
at least they called.