Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband jolted in bed and while still half-asleep said, "I had a nightmare; I dreamt we had a kid." I'm 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
Today, I awoke from a bizarre dream where I, a man, was pregnant. If that wasn’t weird enough, when I gave birth, it was a pug puppy. FML
Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML
Today, I look five months pregnant, but alas I'm just full of shit. I wish I could poop. FML
Today, I woke up at 1 a.m., after having a nightmare that I was pregnant. I took pregnancy test, and… baby boy or girl in May 2025? FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I buried my 8-year-old son two weeks ago and had my husband serve me divorce papers three days ago. FML
Today, I was told that I will be a father in 2 months. I had a one night stand about 7 months ago. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, after dumping my fiancé and altering my life following my therapist's advice so I could be free and self-sufficient, I finally feel like I'm in control of my life! However, I just had a dream where I was married to my ex and had two beautiful babies, and I cried so hard I had to call out sick. What have I done? FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
That stinks.
Fully_fml 0
Haha I love how this worded!
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Comments (229)
Freeze_fml 17
That stinks.
ScooterScott 0
Freeze, that's punny.
Ali_Br_fml 33
shit outta luck
zuratai 0
cute
tincans 0
yuckk, good luck with the real delivery though .
Danny0522 8
haha #1 i love ur picture
IchbinSyn 0
All I can say is oh shit!!! yuck
sexybeastsexybea 0
whatsoes ur pic say number ine?
urface132 0
Girls don't take dumps
04VWR32 6
haha. that's funny.
seanreddog 4
I don't get it is she pregnant or not?
mikeyceroooo 0
lol u pooped! ha!
seanreddog 4
Women dont poop.
rockera 0
no duh
nadyy14 8
wat did u not gt about that?
seanreddog 4
It says shes pregnant, then she has a dream about giving birth, but in reality she was ********. Is she pregnant or was that part of the dream?
KiddNYC1O 22
massive dumps ftw
seanreddog 4
Yeah I got it now thanks. Well op good luck on the and sorry bout the
pseudolife 4
Eww...gross!!! OP somethings shouldn't be shared.
Blacklynx 0
Now you have to breastfeed it, and love it and care for ypur dump until it grows old enough to live on its own in the sewers. congrats. fyl
pingpongpickle 8
ew in ur sleep??
GinandJenkem 0
That's disgusting. Nasty bitch.
MrBrick 0
OP, this is your husband: Morning honey, gah what the **** is this? i dont know whats worse, if this is shit or afterbirth.
laideehawk 6
Those darn preggo dreams. Hormones get ya coming and going!
SelfGenocide 0
she had a Bono baby.
Puddings 3
was it crying? i would if i was in your hole O_o
matt1337c 0
I bet that dump was actually the baby.
Person000 0
OMG I had the same dream only I was dreaming I took a huge crap and I woke up, and i had given birth to a baby.!!!!!
erika_lynnex 1
#110 is hot
Ms_Jessie22 8
Larryfresh23 0
don't call your baby that jk lol
Familia08 0
for real they don't!
cookiemobzta 0
it must have been a small one
JessiesABeach 0
136 - Hey Jessie, youre a bitch.
samantha_durano 6
166: hey, go **** yourself.
Ms_Jessie22 8
Haha thanks Sammykins. But don't worry, I've got this under control. JAB- Wow a fan! I like your username. It makes me feel special :) Travis.
nood_fml 0
that's just a load of shit! lolololol
samantha_durano 6
lol Jessie, first you have that one guy who made an account with the name as "ms_Jessieishot" or whatever, and now you have another with the account name to do with you! you are quite popular Missy:) but seriously they shouldn't have called you that, because you aren't a bitch, I don't marry bitches! you are my darling<333 :D
Trav72 5
Wow JAB, you step off Jessie or Ill kick your ass. Got your back too Jessie :D
nep12 0
you just gave birth to mr Hankey! don't hurt him!
gothrockerkid 0
lol love the pic dude
UberFail79 0
Did you name it?
BallisticHalo3 11
Have fun
blackarrow_fml 7
love the pic lol
kutiekathy 2
how the **** is this an FML ?
Thunderbender 2
Thats just what you get for having sex with a lump.
Guerrilla8 0
I don't think you understand what he is saying.
Fully_fml 0
Haha I love how this worded!
gohabs21 0
5, that was illogical
randomness45 2
Congrats! U have successfully given birth to your food baby!!
epoh_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that's disgusting. ew. just ew. you give pregnant ladies a bad name :(
nu_fml 0
Pregnacy + poop [+ bladder weakness] is just normal~
epoh_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
i'm pregnant with my third. I know it's normal to pee every 20 mins, but I have never heard or experienced being unable to control my bowels.
epoh_fml 0
heard of*
lucious_mama 0
it's not that she can't control her bowels, I'm a mom x3, and she may have had a contraction in her sleep on top of the dream she was having, it's entirely normal. just as it is to sh!t when your giving birth. seeing as how she is so far along she may have just a little bit of extra weight (extreme sarcasm) on all of her innards... lighten the hell up, it's really not that big of a deal. OP don't feel to bad, embarrassing as it may be your completely entitled to sh!t or piss yourself unknowingly. it will be a great story to tell your kid when they're older, (great potty training story because they will too have accidents) yes it sucks but all the sh!t you go thru while pregnant and all you put up with in the early day is soo worth it!
seanreddog 4
Ohhh, so she shit her pants! that makes more sense! I was thinking she was like daydreaming and I was really confused.
Dwight_A_R_Manag 0
I'm pretty sure you can control any function while asleep. can you stop breeding please nobody wants your retard babies around
epoh_fml 0
yah, sorry, love. Pooping while contracting just does not happen. While pushing a baby out, yes. Are your panties in a twist because *you* can't control your bowels?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
According to childbirthsolutions.com, some pregnant women may have loose or soft bowel movements in the days before labor. It could be easier to lose control of those kind. I know the typical gestation period is closer to 10 months, but perhaps the OP is farther along than she thought or going into early labor. Besides, pregnancy plays hell on some women's stomachs. Maybe she just ate something that gave her the squirts >.<
catatonicsleep 17
48/77 just because you didn't do it doesn't mean it's not possible, having 3 kids doesn't mean you know everything possible about pregnancy and birth.
dre_dre 0
at #6 oh come on just because you never heard of pregnant chicks being unable to control their bowels means this chick is giving pregnant women a bad name? stop being a bitch and just congratulate her one pregnant lady to another
goonie85 0
Maybe she woke up on the toilet. Like sleepwalking, but sleepdooking instead....?
rustyute_21 0
well said 62
iLoveUnionJ 8
please dear god don't let this person ever become a parent or I will weep for the future of humanity. Congrats on the baby OP.
iLoveUnionJ 8
I meant the dwaght person, don't ever let them become a parent, sorry if it came across as op never having kids. Don't worry OP, its natural, my mum is pregnant and the same thing happened to her. Many many congrats
roflcopter9000 0
what did you husband think of this?
pmac 1
You don't have to be married to have children.
angeluv_2014 22
Yes, but that was also my first thought. There's absolutly nothing wrong with asuming a woman who is pregnant is also married.
damador 0
Ewww
iLoveUnionJ 8
oh grow up. Its just poo, and she couldn't help it. I know when I sleep and I think im earing a sandwich im possibly chewing my duvet. So don't "eewww".
lahp 0
well people do describe child birth as shit :P
illmatic2 16
for a second I thought you were gonna say you gave birth in your bed. DAFP
KamilleBlack 3
I don't understand how this is an FML. Pregnant people poo too. No surprise there...
ThatLooksSticky 16
True....but most people don't poo in their bed.
KoRn_Freak 1
AHAHA(: Sorry I just find it kinda funny.. FYL, and I wish u look on ur baby :D
karina_said 0
luck? (: