Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML
Today, I found out that my husband, who I've just separated from, and my mother, who I don't speak to because she's crazy, have been bitching about me behind my back. FML
Today, my mother not only told me that my ex-husband will be spending Thanksgiving with her and my dad, but that I'm also no longer invited to spend the holiday with my family. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML
Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with coworkers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and my mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML
Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend at her request, because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received four calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML
Today, I was fired from my job. Why? Because my boss has been dating my newly divorced mother, and he didn't want family get-togethers to be "awkward." FML
Today, my boyfriend just told me that his mom told him to break up with me, and that she would pay him to do it. His mom is a bitch. FML
Today, my mother called to uninvite me from Christmas, my ex-wife is going and she doesn't want it to be awkward for her. FML
Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
LouisianaBob 9
You could kick your mom to the curb and not invite her over for holidays.
ters19 10
That seems like something my family would do
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (193)
zachrulz5 0
pay-per-view!!!!
JinxosGirl87 0
I wouldn't have broken it up, I would have been on the sidelines egging on the wife :)
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Yet another one with mother-in-law issues.
KiddNYC1O 22
Haha. Debra and Marie.
bizarre_ftw 22
Ha! No you don't! Tell your mother that you can't be around her until she can learn to be civil towards the woman you love And to apologize to her! Then enjoy freedom while you wait for her to suck up her pride
Klur0 0
What a banshee
meowbecki 1
I have a mother in law that I want out
bearnblue 0
Well at least there is a good conversation starter for the holidays!
firemedic919 0
kick em both to the curb and start over with your new job.
Zillie 4
If your mother so freely said that to your wife, I'd imagine their relationship is less than stellar already. It's not too late to be a good husband & tell your mother you won't tolerate her treating your wife like that or else. If you're too much of a little bitch to do that, divorce your wife so she has a chance to find a real man who isn't up his mommy's ass.
rasta_pasta 4
And if his mother is right and he's just been pandering to a manipulative wife? Americans have no respect for family.
some_girl9 8
And if his mother is NOT right, #102? Gotta love how all these comments are so quick to generalize all Americans. You don't know the circumstances. So sure, it's possible his wife is a manipulative bitch, but it's also entirely possible that she's just the victim of a bitchy, jealous mother-in-law. And if that's the case, then he SHOULD stand up to her and defend his wife.
Zillie 4
102, even if that was the case, that's something the husband should approach his wife about in private. I don't care if the daughter in law is the biggest bitch in the world...it's not ever his mommy's place to tell her he's going to be getting rid of her.
rasta_pasta 4
Everyone assumes that it's not the case and are so quick to tell the OP to ditch their mother, with little to know actually information about the situation, so it's not jumping to conclusions about a whole group of people as this kind of thing is a consistent trend in these posts. While it is possible that the mother could be a bitch, the wife seems to have in no tried to avoid the situation by the fact that A. The wife immediately went to engage the mother and B. The mother can say whatever she wants, as the wife is an OUTSIDER, thus she should know better than to get into an altercation with actual family. But then again I can see why everyone would just assume that the mother is a bitch because they all feel like family should just be nice and keep anything they don't wanna hear to themselves.
cinderella10383 6
You are so wrong, the mother said this to the wife not to her son and the wife did exactly what I would have done hell if I'm going to be disrespected in my house by anyone. He needs to tell his mother until she apologizes to his wife he can't see her because his wife and children if they have them are his life and his wife isn't going anywhere .. I am assume you wouldn't mind if your MIL said crap like that to you especially on your own home?