Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spilled a bottle of honey on the floor while preparing breakfast. As I frantically tried to clean it up, my cat deemed it the perfect opportunity to slide and pad through the sticky mess like a slip-n-slide. Now, I have a honey-coated cat, a ruined floor, and a sticky mess to clean up before my roommates get home. FML
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Today, my cat peed on the kitchen floor. As I went to get the mop, I slipped on the puddle not once, not twice, but three times. In quick succession. FML
Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML
Today, while working in my shop, I was mopping the floor. A customer saw what I was doing, grabbed a bottle of Coca-Cola from the shelf, and poured it all over the floor where I had just finished mopping. FML
Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML
Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML
Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML
Today, while walking through my living room, I slipped and nearly fell, narrowly avoiding hitting my head against a nearby door jamb. What did I slip on, you ask? A single cat treat. FML
Today, I noticed a spot of water on the floor. I thought my cats had spilled a cup of water and didn't worry about it. I went to a meeting and when I came back, my entire apartment was flooded with 3 inches of water. FML
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Top comments
ceilingfans 1
My fat ass cats would drink it.
UrLyfSuxx 0
Just like the cartoons.
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Comments (118)
UrLyfSuxx 0
Just like the cartoons.
Spoonz 4
Classic cartoon scenario #5
Savra_fml 17
Your pussy is in a sticky situation, isn't it?
wistfulorangeade 12
Ooh, someone mentioned a variation of the word "cat"! Time for a pussy joke! You're clever.
liquidSELECT 0
Everyone dont be like this loser. Take the high road and dont make a "PUSSY" joke
flockz 20
thats one sticky feline.
EvilPotato 15
3 what's wrong with 'cat'. "you're 'cat' is in a sticky situation isn't he?"
Savra_fml 17
If some people associate the word "pussy" with anything else rather that a "pussy cat" due to their inability to imagine anything but genitals is not my problem. Several meanings for the word exist. @#6 - yes I am @#48 - nothing wrong with cat. Also, you're = you are, and tge pussy cat could be a she
Savra_fml 17
Thanks for correcting my errors 59. Actually, i didn't try hard at all. To aid you due to your mental incapacities, and to over react about the word "pussy" (omg, I said it again), I will tell you the truth - the pussy in question is your moms. So go grow some pubic hair, learn what an erection is & the you can see why people think you are just a silly wanker.
Alexisthebestest 16
Why did you have to make this sexual?
RachelBerry_fml 5
This is why I have dogs :)
Savra_fml 17
Really? That's your reason? A dog can't step in sticky crap and walk around?
rawrr61 4
MOST of them aren't that stupid. They'd just try to lick it up.
flockz 20
yes good. licking shit off the floor is the smarter choice.
RachelBerry_fml 5
Then it's not all over. So yes :) licking shit off the floor is smarter!
j_cat187 20
Dogs stay outside
Savra_fml 17
Except the ones that don't
j_cat187 20
I don't consider a yipping little fur-ball a dog.
4ugu4 7
Dogs are way worse then cats in that situation..
eeppiicc 8
I get it you have dogs because you like to go outside and step in their shit instead of clean up little paw prints.
Alexisthebestest 16
I prefer dogs because they are loyal and offer a lot more that cats- like protection. Plus, IMO, they aren't nearly as annoying.
cicinyc 7
114- Uhhh cats don't bark at some stupid squirrel running across the backyard or something. I don't even have cats I have dogs and atleast cats can actually catch the freakin squirrel dogs can't even do that!!!:(
koolkat27 13
Dogs smell disgusting, and cats don't smell half as bad as dogs. I don't hate dogs, I just wonder why some people adore them so much.
bluerara912 12
You're an asshole dogs aren't just some ornament to sit on your ******* lawn they belong inside with a loving family douchebag
kroekdog 7
And then there were cockroaches...
rawrr61 4
At least they're on the floor, and not being thrown up?
belkinbra 12
Send them to a chinese restaraunt. Yeah. That will show them.
ceilingfans 1
My fat ass cats would drink it.
ikickgingers 15
This is why I have a dog...
Savra_fml 17
You should take your dog over to RachelBerrys house so it can meet her dogs. She has them for the same reason you do.
ikickgingers 15
No idea who Rachel Berry is... If you are trying to insult me-- Please use somebody obvious .... Kthanks!!
Savra_fml 17
She made an earlier comment on why she has dogs - same reason as yours actually. You could create a "Why have dog(s)" club.
ikickgingers 15
Hahahahahahaahahhahahahahahahahahaahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha I am an asshat. *goes and sits in the corner* I thought you meant that glee lady.. I okay okay kicky gtfo. Done
hobojo69 23
Typical
Savra_fml 17
Yes. Well said. This is a typical cat reaction to such a situation. Dogs are, apparently, totally different.
illmatic2 16
You seem to be very defensive about your cats.
Llama_Face89 34
65- possibly because cats are awesome. But yea...that sounds like something my cat would do...also pop out of a hole in the wall and yowl while I'm watching the grudge...
NEEPLES 7
You should be used to cleaning sticky stuff off of floors. Cat urine is horrible.
KiddNYC1O 22
Isn't that what the litter box is for?
Haven246 7
I see what you did there...:)
mintcar 10
Your cats hate you and they did it on purpose.