Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML
What did she do now?
Today, I found out that my husband, who I've just separated from, and my mother, who I don't speak to because she's crazy, have been bitching about me behind my back. FML
Today, my mother not only told me that my ex-husband will be spending Thanksgiving with her and my dad, but that I'm also no longer invited to spend the holiday with my family. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML
Now what?
Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with coworkers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and my mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML
Don't blame me
Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend at her request, because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received four calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML
Today, I was fired from my job. Why? Because my boss has been dating my newly divorced mother, and he didn't want family get-togethers to be "awkward." FML
Corruption
Today, my boyfriend just told me that his mom told him to break up with me, and that she would pay him to do it. His mom is a bitch. FML
Festive spirit
Today, my mother called to uninvite me from Christmas, my ex-wife is going and she doesn't want it to be awkward for her. FML
Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML
Top comments
LouisianaBob 9
You could kick your mom to the curb and not invite her over for holidays.
ters19 10
That seems like something my family would do
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Comments (193)
KnucklesDeep 5
If you love your wife, you have to stand up to your mother and tell her that what she did was totally unacceptable.
jayemdoubleyou 1
You stay classy Oklahoma.
baseballlegitly0 2
any one els feeling wifes of jersey
mbrooks5110 0
Not to play devils advocate, but if your Mom isn't the over protective type maybe you should listen. If she's just over protective I'm sorry!!! I get along awesome with my inlaws and my husband with his. Parents are sometimes right about your partners and you can & should listen, again if she's not typically over protective. Both my husband & I wish we'd listened to our mothers over the ueats.
Loreh323 0
Your mom needs to be out! Kick the bitch out to the curb......wife
CaliforniaBabe90 0
Sucksssssss .
coreyrct 0
Danggee thats not fun
Devoo 7
Next time, record it and put it on Youtube to get 100,000+ views.
mspeacock 6
Wow... Someone's mom is a little too ruthless. If I was your wife I would have told her that even though you got the great paying job, you were still putting her in the cheapest "home" you guys can find.
carobug 6
I'm a little lost and need some clarification. Did OP actually say what his mother heard, or did the wife conjure it up to anger OP's mom? I see it as a FHL either way. If OP said it, then it sucks because the relationship with his mother is THAT bad. But, if the wife did it, then it sucks because you have a craazy family :)
drummerp64 16
I think if I'm reading this right, what happened is as follows: - OP says "I finally got the job of my dreams" - Mother hears OP - Mother tells wife "OP finally got the job of his dreams, so now he can kick your useless ass to the curb" - Mother and wife get in fistfight