Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML
Today, I found out that my husband, who I've just separated from, and my mother, who I don't speak to because she's crazy, have been bitching about me behind my back. FML
Today, my mother not only told me that my ex-husband will be spending Thanksgiving with her and my dad, but that I'm also no longer invited to spend the holiday with my family. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML
Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with coworkers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and my mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML
Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend at her request, because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received four calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML
Today, I was fired from my job. Why? Because my boss has been dating my newly divorced mother, and he didn't want family get-togethers to be "awkward." FML
Today, my boyfriend just told me that his mom told him to break up with me, and that she would pay him to do it. His mom is a bitch. FML
Today, my mother called to uninvite me from Christmas, my ex-wife is going and she doesn't want it to be awkward for her. FML
Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML
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Top comments
LouisianaBob 9
You could kick your mom to the curb and not invite her over for holidays.
ters19 10
That seems like something my family would do
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Comments (193)
Jaws1240 0
Seems like something a WHITE famliy would do....
A_Lopes 3
Lets get ready to rummmbbleee!!
IgotPoked 0
Your moms a douche...
nettymarie 0
I would totally take my wifes side. If your mom is mad who cares. If your wife is mad that means no sex
nivek2120 8
Haha I love how it's assumed that the wife is perfect.. Very naive people. Sounds like you should have never got married and not stayed so close to your family.
Cmdr_Shepard 17
I don't know how you can call us naive then turn around and say "he should have never got married". You're making assumptions yourself. FYI, no one said the wife was perfect. But almost all of us agree that the mom was out of line for making nasty remarks to other people about the wife. Sounds to me like the pot's calling the kettle black.
nivek2120 8
Well now you just misquoted me and the FML itself. Which doesn't make you a very credible source. The mom said it directly to the wife. But I guess you would rather cover up the truth with some fake smile and a lie?
Cmdr_Shepard 17
I actually did misread the FML. For the mom to actually say that to the wife is even worse, and just further proves everyone's point. Even if the wife is a bitch, the mom is going about this entirely wrong. You don't have to "lie" or "make assumptions" to see that. Also, you said clearly "[He] should have never got married...". If I misquoted you, it's because you didn't clearly articulate what you meant to say. Tl;dr The mom is in the wrong, no assumptions need to be made, please get off your high horse.
ihavetopoopnow 2
i hate when im driving and my GF is giving me a ******* and then i accidentally hit a speed bump :/
Cmdr_Shepard 17
cool story, bro. will read again.
auddylynne 0
Your mother seems like a real bitch. She needs to see a shrink or something. Your kind of expected to learn a little class by the time your a mother in law. If somebody told me that, I'd have to kick thier ass too. Your wife was in no way out of line. This one is all your mother.
JadedJarOfHearts 3
Aweeh. Cuteee. :P
BjgUsername 12
JERRY!! JERRY JERRY!!!
bcr09 3
I don't know what prompted this, whether you talked to your mom about your wife or she is just a b*tch who can't let go, but either way, your mom should have had some kind of decency since that was your wife and all. My xmil (her son and I are still married but we were disowned because he wouldn't divorce me) was just pissed because her little boy had grown up and gotten himself a family. I've known women that love their daughter in laws and I've known women that can't cut the apron strings. Good luck