TriangularBanana
Cypress, United States
Today, a girl stole my heart. She also stole my wallet, phone, and keys. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Shortround
Wheaton, United States
Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML
thanksmom
United States
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML
gunnerdog
Galveston, United States
Today, during one of my first days as a teacher, a student stole my phone. FML
Annoyed
Panama City Beach, United States
Today, one of my students stole my wallet. I teach kindergarten. FML
whaaaaat111
Vienna, United States
Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML
KiloLima01
Australia
Today, I met a really hot chick while waiting for the bus. We spoke for 4 hours till we got to our destination. She hugged me and we parted ways. Later that day I realised she stole my phone. FML
tannerrosetx_1
Irving, United States
Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML
seththing
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Chedder
United States
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Top comments
BloodyBrilliant 15
Sounds like a marriage material.
trucker2 33
Shouldn't be picking up women so close to the prison area
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Comments (47)
itslaelae 17
rude
73012211 17
I guess you just lost your... A-peel... Appeal? No? I'll show myself out.
arano 29
For anyone down voting this, look at OP's user name before you judge too harshly.
TurtleBird 2
Why?
icefishbaby 14
I googled his username and still can't figure out what it means. Is it some reference that I'm just not getting? Edit: nevermind, I thought you were referring to the commenter with the long string of numbers as his username.
samner 9
Well don't worry, maybe she stole your wallet to know your address and your keys to get into your house and surprise you later. ;)
trucker2 33
I picture op sleeping, when she slips in
Sunflora219 26
And banana.
EmiEvelyn 12
No one expect the banana
trucker2 33
Shouldn't be picking up women so close to the prison area
Benmantha 31
Well, it's all or nothing.
BloodyBrilliant 15
Sounds like a marriage material.
strawberrydreams 18
It could've been way worse. At least she didn't steal your soul!
Sxylilhalfpint 20
She must not have been a ginger.
everydayGalaXy 11
She's a keeper for sure!
Miss_Whipped 43
I'm sure this is implied, but she's a keeper in the sense that she's one who keeps! Keeper of the wallet, keeper of the keys, etc.
anarchymaniac 22
Messed up
whysobeachy 37
I misread "keys" as "kidneys". Now THAT'S messed up.
Railroader 16
Are you Sherlock Holmes?