Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn't see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML
Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML
Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML
Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML
Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read, "Stop banging my boyfriend." I haven't had anyone in my love life for over a year. FML
Today, I realised just how skewed my reality is when I was pleasantly surprised that teenagers threw eggs at my windows. They usually throw rocks. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
I guess if it could fly, that egg was mostly hatched! The visual of an egg with flapping wings made me laugh, so I thought I'd share.
hoghunter 1
oops. I couldn't find any pebbles so thought eggs would be a good substitute.
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Comments (166)
wiggz1990 0
sorry about that
rawr_iliketacos 0
Lol what the hell?
MISStaken43 0
I actually gasped while reading this. I'm sorry OP, better luck next time :/
rockediny 0
sooo?
destinyisdead 5
YDI for sucking at sex. ahahahhah.
lilweapon 0
AC-130 droppin eggs
benny2465 0
o was that your house?
kate_mama2009 0
lmao. I'm addicted to that game.
SeanFredrick 3
This is a good eggsample of why you shouldn't open your window in the middle of the night without makeing sure you won't be covered in egg juice or pelted by small rocks.
dreamering 16
It seems your boyfriend is pissed at you. Could had been worse, like a dead animal, kind of skunk, or rabbit.
astarwarsfan 0
are you sure (puts on sunglasses) he wasn't egging you on?
eggjuggler 0
This reminded me of "Never Been Kissed"... Anyhow, it sounds like he needs a healthy serving of revenge to that car of his. Vaseline under the door handles and coating all windows, dog poop in any accessible air vents, sand in the interior if you can get to it, all topped off with a nice layer of egg on the exterior. =)
lolfylanydi 0
fake fml, only a retard would open a window
skroal 7
If it somehow didn't break, slap that dirty bastard in a pan and cook it. YDI.
kellanlvr 1
lmao so he was egging your house?
PimpdaddyCJT 13
again I would bone #1 but I'm still not a creeper
StoryOfTheYear 15
How on earth would he dairy do such a thing??
pingpongpenguin 3
I think he's trying to say he wants to break up
MarkerofMagic 0
you should go to the store and get some instant potatoes and throw tha down in his yard one night. water it a little bit and walla. his yard instantly has potatoes.... funny how that works.
PimpdaddyCJT 13
woops # 2 my bad
StoryOfTheYear 15
#2 has no pic either >.> you are indeed, bad
MarkerofMagic 0
65- #2 does. but he ment the first reply to #1
StoryOfTheYear 15
Sorry, this thing is messed, that bug is doing shit again it showed #2 not having a pic when I posted
MarkerofMagic 0
it's all good. happens to me aswell v
KiddNYC1O 22
lmaoo 24 wins! op, did it hit you in the face?
Wicked_909 0
16-LMAO u made me lol so hard jizzed in ur pants... um i mean mine
jplumbob 4
skroal, now that's better. I laughed at that one.
chopra 0
maybe op shud have a net on the window and ydi 4 having a bf u ****
MykeLytorus 0
Who was the rapscullion who threw an egg into the window? The world may never know.
swifft_fml 0
12 is cute :P..I don't get the fml though haha
LOL_Noobs 0
YDI for not realizing he wants u to get back into the kitchen and make him an egg sammich (:
SeanFredrick 3
I could use a good egg sammich right now mmm mmm!
bamditzki 0
lol, who uses eggs?
ERICA833 0
misstaken(12) I too actually gasped
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
43: You forgot kitty litter in the windshield wiper well. :} It's a bitch to clean out.
wisericky 12
u
Fother_Mucker 0
63 - #2 is a male. Were you referring to #5, maybe?
PimpdaddyCJT 13
yes I was damn
goatboy197 0
is your boyfriend the one you said in the previous FML that somebody wrote grafitti on his car
luckymay 0
ahahahhaha nice , I beleive so :)
amerrah 4
first rule about egging houses: Park atleast 2 blocks from the house. duhhhhhhh.
pwincessa23 1
HOW DO YOU CONFUSE PEBBLES FOR EGGS? THEY WOULD SOUND DIFFERENT DUMMY.
TheOptimist 0
Don't worry 118, there are some people out there who accept bisexuality.
him51772 0
@ #11, i think he was hinting he wanted her to scramble them for him, since he's busy wearing the pants in the relationship
rfngxhhshi 0
why would somone threw eggs at a house. prety oreginel idea tho lolol
JohnGraveline 0
Some friend.
liljeron 0
haha get some!
that1guyyy 12
haha
austinkiser 3
it's better when the eggs are rotten :D since it makes it totally worth it
joker141 0
24- YES!
puggfuggly 0
do you need tips on keeping your eggs from getting squashed or spoiled? Just put them outside ya dummy, unless it's summer, then your outa luck PAL
Silenthunter 0
Or fecal matter
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
135: No, not really. =
Jamdestroyer 0
that was last years senior prank to everyone car....except the dog poop part.
rfngxhhshi 0
Get trolled TheIrishJaneDyke
marinus_fml 20
damn that sux!
ahhhFYL 0
oh realllyyy now? :)
PoseidonsSon 3
Your grammar sucks.
Thoko_fml 0
Hahahahaaha!
ALindsey 0
They were just trying to be original so they changed pebbles to eggs, YDI for not understanding his style.
TheOptimist 0
I agree. Your boyfriends quite the comedian. I hope your both still together.
purpleamandapand 6
omg that's too bad OP, FYL
perdix 31
I guess if it could fly, that egg was mostly hatched! The visual of an egg with flapping wings made me laugh, so I thought I'd share.
kellanlvr 1
aha just the image of a frickin egg coming through a window made me laugh
chevyguy85 0
theyre trying to say you should be in the kitchen
randomlettrrs 8
damn right
hoghunter 1
oops. I couldn't find any pebbles so thought eggs would be a good substitute.
karlita22 0
wow what a boyfriend!! maybe it's A way to show u that he hates u!! lol fyl
just_nicole 1
lol wouldn't yu realize yolk on the window first?!..guess not..ydi but yeaaa tht sux!
kayC7 0
It really 'cracked' me up I'm lame :(
Puckeroo 0
That wasn't lame. Cheesy puns are coming back in style. :)
arcticcatman007 0
so, was it you're bf throwing the eggs?
kristir9426 0
I would say so... she probably cheated
emilyxorawr 3
hehe wtf.. did the egg hit yur face?