Swabidizop
Greeley, United States
Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Alarm
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
aaalias34
United States
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Wowsers.
United Kingdom
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
nullpointer
San Francisco, United States
Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML
nightmare ass
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
Keyser Soze
Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML
Anonymous
Bad boy
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
pikachu
United States
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
BadBreath
United States
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Noname
United States
Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
Top comments
hafyyyy 17
i guess he isnt sleeping when youre around anymore.
Cass_x 22
Aww poor dog. You woke him.
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Comments (57)
BBJenkins15 16
You could of atleast gone outside,wouldve saved you from the dog bite
Swandive235 27
colorado is a great state
False_Stupidity 42
Uh, OP was asleep when the wind began to blow... Going outside was never an option
gintwinsmoore 20
no one saw this coming so you know OP didn't, or I'm sure things would've been way different.
hafyyyy 17
i guess he isnt sleeping when youre around anymore.
SayakaxOue 17
That stinks.
jerryj 27
You don't say?
Sandsh8rk 36
Here's the door, show yourself out.
ohSNAPyall 27
That bites.
aj9319 16
Cutest dog ever!
mmmxr 11
"Aww you got bit by a dog that's so cute".....said no one ever.
bsums203 13
He probably was so startled by the rancidness he couldn't help but bite the source.
Cass_x 22
Aww poor dog. You woke him.
91hayek 31
Gross, serves you right. If only I could get away with the same thing with so many disgusting people.
Dick_diamond 22
So are you going to bite him whenever he lets one out in your presence as dogs are wont to do?
Justabastard 10
do the same to him when he farts.
mmmxr 11
That cannot end well.....
Chiharo 15
That wouldnt be a good idea to bite a dog .-.
TCRII 30
What goes around, comes around. I'm sure your dog had it coming.