Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML
Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML
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Top comments
saintsrocksocks 10
You woke up barking?
Schizomaniac 24
You woke up ba- **** you guys.
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Comments (128)
saintsrocksocks 10
You woke up barking?
ALlamaOnFire 20
Barking mad? ... Sorry.
onlychildFTW 34
Congratulations on the only comment of this type to get thumbed up. (so far) haha. I'm thinking he woke him and the dog up and the dog barked. Or OP woke up barking. Either way it's funny.
saintsrocksocks 10
I guess I'm not very original then...
JKr3slEMO 5
Wait what...? it ISN'T normal to wake up barking? oh..
saintsrocksocks 10
Jkr I don't know you tell me
Fatalally 4
Am I the only one that thought of family guy when I read this? (Brian farts himself awake)
geezy82 6
.
riptor911 10
I was going to say the same thing. Damn you
Slender_Man 6
19- whoosh
MassiveBerry 9
You woke up barking? That's pretty impressive.
NanillaVipples 2
Missed it by that much...
sirsquab 12
Shouldn't of added the really impressive bit
VaanBasch 1
Shouldn't have* added the incorrect use of "of".
hatesfate 6
Shouldn't have used you enter key randomly while posting just one sentence.
MsConfusedd 27
You woke up barking??
MsConfusedd 27
Wow, I was beaten out by 2 people **crawls under rock and thumbs down my own comment**
MrSassypants 34
No need to get down on yourself, Patrick Star.
ItsTheKing 10
Yeah man. Getting down on yourself. That's just gross.
bananasquid21 6
Rather than saying "Lololol see wat u did thr", to you, I'd say "**** you and your un-clever shit sense of humor."
outoftown 27
#7, Only by a second. Chin up, in the Olympics this would get you a bronze medal. (And congrats on getting your FML posted.)
nash1991 20
So you woke up and started barking?
nash1991 20
Damn I thought I was the first comment.. I guess 3 others posted the same shit while I was typing :/
Dixbfloppin 11
You almost had it.
katieeamberr 2
little late to the party
Ashley0911 8
Hopefully, your just a light sleeper.
emeraldisle 30
*you're
Ashley0911 8
*You're.. My apologies.
iLOLatURpain69 7
You're really hot.
KiddNYC1O 22
It took a really loud fart!
liamresener 3
You're not supposed to have a comma after hopefully.
andrewcollins 8
Wtf guys this isn't grammar class.
KiddNYC1O 22
92- Either way is correct. The comma just demonstrates a slight pause.
mtrrace 4
It's contagious!
lavantant 3
Or did you scare the dog and IT woke up barking
emeraldisle 30
I've done that before too. I like to tell myself it was just a dream.
IdontWanna69 8
I thought it was the pets who are supposed to take after their owners.
skyeyez9 25
It is...OP's dog does the same thing.
osnapitzkay 8
As everyone else said and was probably thinking, OP said he barked when he woke up.. That would be something an owner would get from the pet, not the other way around.. So that is probably what IDontWanna69 was talking about.
KiiwiiRox 6
That's rather disturbing. And kinda funny in a weird way. I hope you didn't shart yourself.