Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML
Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Today, during an argument that he couldn't win, my boyfriend farted in a glass, covered it with his hand, ran to me, and let it go it right in front of my nose. FML
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Top comments
CallMeHush 1
The face has changed but the breath's the same.
honutattoo 0
dogs are just that awesome
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Comments (111)
CallMeHush 1
The face has changed but the breath's the same.
ey3seecold 0
u know dogs are only color blind and not blind I'm sure your face looked like an asshole to him !!!
orph_the_d 5
Why the fark did you let him lick your nose? Sounds like you wanted it.
CallMeHush 1
Hey, I was under pressure.
sucks4you09 0
dogs mouths are cleaner that humans!!! aparently not
jakeTS 0
put that bitch down
CallMeHush 1
Oh, no problem, I didn't think it was for me but I knew it wasn't one of my best comments ever, it is slightly out of context. I was trying to grab the top and not be a tool at the same time. I've become so aggravated with the post hijackers that I don't even bother if it goes past the second page on my touch (often). The phone/touch apps are crapping this place up. Well, off to the coal mines for the night...
mikeyboi19 5
why did you allow your dog to lick your face you sick freak
killpro 0
sounds like my dog
mrzero 0
hahah. smart
isreal 0
if u saw your dog do that y would u let him lick your face you r dumb
monsterchic72 5
@22 Lol
asianwolf 2
op is such a freakbag. why would you let the dog lick you. ydi
austinbalfany 0
so you have a touch and you are complaining bout them? what a turd
Shadow14l 0
Dog's loss... Human skin is dirtier than a dog's asshole. Look it up if you don't believe me.
NotMeh 0
I agree with 1.
1zinzanzin 0
omg u is stupid ok they ain't all color blind they see in a beta vision than us not infored but I can't remember the name but a preditor can see in it he has 2 visions not infored but the one that is grey and black
honey643 0
actually, dogs aren't color blind.. just pointing it out to u.
zays 0
FYL! :S
honutattoo 0
dogs are just that awesome
Philosophic 0
In Soviet Russia, Asshole licks Dog.
CallMeHush 1
So... what does he taste like?
Vitamin_C 0
38 win!!!!
icifresh911 0
Lol at 38
xundria 5
I bet you enjoyed it too, didn't you?
johnnyredcorn 5
Actually, I think you look like you would enjoy getting a fart lick on the nose.
Cmc520 0
and u just sat there and let him. U NASTY!!
BeatNik169 3
Your life will never be the same again. Seriously, that's not an FML, buddy.
Novogrod 0
While I agree that this was pretty lame, FML isn't about ******* up your ENTIRE life.
netherflame 0
It's a she, a pussy. ******* can be quite sensitive about stuff like that. So FYL for being a pussy of a pussy.
AngryNinja 1
yeah, okay, 'cause you wouldn't mind if your dog did that to you. go **** yourself, asswipe. helps if you get ribs taken out. -.-
AngryNinja 1
yes, pen, you're doing it right. i'm so tired of the sexist pigs on here. -.-
AngryNinja 1
ah well. plenty of anger to go around.
Pearljammer001 0
@ angryninja, aren't we all? and I'm a GUY!
AngryNinja 1
*claps for pearljammer* you don't know how happy i am that there's guys on here that are as tired of the sexist pigs as i am. ;)
Izzy322 0
shutup you dumb broad...less talky more booby
Firetroop 0
Dude, if you have noticed, FMLs are small anecdotes that have messed up someone's day, not really something that screws up their entire life.
BlackCloudedSldr 5
Angryninja... We have a code. Only be a pig to ugly people such as yourself because we know it will get to you. If you're tired of it then stop reading. God forbid you read another and we waste time reading about how much you can bitch about something that can he changed nor does anyone care about.
paigeatsflesh 11
okay so why didn't you push him away? abd why were you watching him lick his butthole?
heavenforbids 0
oh **** that sucks, gross!
theeBeezWaXx 0
oh hell no, gross! whyy would you even let him get that close to you.?!
saxophoneguitar 0
for christ sake get a cat!
buttonface 0
agreed. although, cats fart too.
Hello_Its_Julio 0
but cats don't "furiously lick there butthole" afterwards(:
3rdbass 9
Have an animal that scratches you like nothing? No thanks.